Chapter 8December 29, 1963

Then He seemed to lead me to other places, where I saw a sort of scorpion with a very odd shape (it was also a sort of entity in that realm and it gave other illnesses) trying to climb up somewhere. There was also a truncated snake which had been cut through, and out of the cut something like its life was escaping, yet it was still alive. All kinds of horrors. But there wasn't the slightest feeling of disgust: it was more like a consciousness studying, observing, and the "I" that observed was the force exerted by the consciousness on the play of those things.

It isn't a pleasant realm. It's the realm that's just like this (Mother places one hand over the other), immediately beyond... (how can I put it? It's neither higher nor deeper inside) beyond the subtle physical, and it's the realm in which formations of illness MATERIALIZE. I spent more than three hours of the night in it.

It's a kind of study... a useful one, maybe. And I noticed, I remember having complained, "Oh, it hurts!" (Apparently I was sound asleep, but I was very conscious of my body.) So it interested me, and I turned to the Lord: "It hurts quite a bit." So He extended his hand, took that thing away and presented it to me, saying, "Oh, it's only that"!... It wasn't pretty. But then, INSTANTLY, the pain went away. I had been feeling some pain in the evening before going to bed (the nerves ached, the neck muscles hurt, it was like something weighing down heavily and clinging to me painfully); I saw His hand take it and present that animal to me, and I heard the voice say, Oh, it's only that (He speaks to me in English), it's only that – gone!

Exactly what Sri Aurobindo did when he was here: his hand seemed to come, take hold of the pain, and the illness went away.

Only, these nights are a little... tiring. Nights of work, of struggle. And then during the day, there is that avalanche of people and things.... If you don't go mad, it's a sure sign you had no predisposition to madness! (Mother laughs)

Well.

You should get some rest nevertheless. It's time this book was finished and those [Tantric] writings were finished – so you can go and sit facing the sea. And watch the waves move, no?

I still have eight days of work.

All right. You'll have to hold on for eight days.

Those eight days are the most...

Afterwards, you go and sit and watch the waves. The waves... that's pretty! (Mother laughs ironically)