Chapter 7December 25, 1963

(Mother looks tired)

How are your nights?

Not too conscious.

That doesn't matter (!) If you get rest, that's all that is needed.

Last night there was a perpetual harassment.

(silence)

There is at the moment an entire study going on in the subconscient on the cause of illnesses. I am not seeing very pleasant things....

There is a whole zone in the most material vital which penetrates, as it were, the subtle physical – that's where illnesses are formed. You see swarms of completely crooked formations – a lack of sincerity. And it expresses itself in images: I see all kinds of people and do all kinds of things in a special zone – the same people who are elsewhere are here too under a special aspect. It's a mixture of the deformation of consciousness, the deformation of language, the deformation of forms – swarms and swarms!... For hours.

But I was always accompanied by a form, not a very precise one, but which was the materialization in that realm of the Lord's Presence. I remember having for the work entered a huge room, completely bare, without anything, in a half-light, when suddenly I felt something grabbing hold of me here (gesture at the nape of the neck), something I even felt physically (I was lying in my bed, but I felt it physically). So I pointed it out to that Form which was accompanying me everywhere – so attentive, so close – to explain and show things to me; I complained, saying, "Look, something has grabbed hold of me, it even hurts physically." So I saw a kind of arm come and take that thing on my neck, pull it away and present it to me: it was like one of those big bats that are called flying fox (there are some here, they eat little birds, chicks...), it was clinging to my neck! He said, "Oh, it's nothing! It's only that." (Mother laughs) And it was a big thing like this (about three feet) which had grabbed hold of me here and had its two claws still out (he had wrenched it off my neck). It had become flat and almost inert, but it was still as vicious as anything.

It was quite simply an "incident" – to mention just one. But the remarkable thing is that my physical pain went away immediately; I felt a pain in the nape of my neck, like a weight that hurt and pressed on the nerves, and it went away instantly: "Oh, it's