Chapter 5January 17, 1961

Then it is good. But up to this point there is still a small corner [of the ‘I’] somewhere – generally the observer, the witness who is watching.

(silence)

I don’t know if it’s worth keeping this. Or rather let’s keep it for later. It’s a little too much.... We have to go by stages.

It’s not correct to say that you know you have no more ego. The only correct thing would be to affirm that you are ON THE WAY to having no more ego.11

51 - When I hear of a righteous wrath, I wonder at man’s capacity for self-deception. What do you have to say?

Our self-deception is always in good faith! We always act for the welfare of others or in the interests of humanity and to serve you (that goes without saying!). How exactly do we deceive ourselves?

I would like to ask you a question in turn – because there are two ways of understanding your question. It can be taken in the same ironic or humorous tone that Sri Aurobindo has used in his aphorism when he wonders at man’s capacity for self-deception. That is, you are putting yourself in the place of the self-deceiver and saying, ‘But I am of good faith! I always want the welfare of others – the interests of humanity, to serve the Divine (of course!). Then how can I be deceiving myself?’

But actually, there are really two quite different forms of self-deception. One can be very shocked by certain things, not for personal reasons but precisely because of one’s goodwill and ardor to serve the Divine, when one sees people misconducting themselves, being egoistical, unfaithful, treacherous. There comes a stage when one has mastered these things and doesn’t permit them to manifest IN ONESELF; but to the extent that one is in contact with ordinary consciousness, ordinary viewpoints, ordinary life and thought, their possibility is still there, latent, because they are the inverse of the qualities one is striving for. And this opposition always exists until one has risen above and no longer has either the quality or the defect. As long as one has virtue, one always has its latent opposite. The opposition disappears only when one is beyond virtue and sin. But until then, there is this kind of indignation stemming from the fact that one is not entirely above: it’s a period when one totally disapproves of certain things and would be incapable of doing them. And up to this point, there is nothing to say, unless one gives an external, violent expression to his indignation. If anger interferes, it