Chapter 3April 8, 1970

how it is THERE” (Mother points to the body). That’s all.

Yes (laughing), I think that’s the great adventure! Very well.

The body spends hours repeating... not with words, but with all its will (Mother clenches her fist), “To be nothing but You, to be nothing but You, to cease existing, to be nothing but You....” Like that, it’s so intensely like that... oh!

And it very well knows that this “You” isn’t the Supreme, but to it, it’s the Supreme for the time being.

We’ll see! (Mother laughs)

(silence)

Everything is becoming like that, EVERYTHING. The change of sleep is what took place the most easily, but the whole work, all, all that I do – speaking has become a very difficult thing, very difficult... my voice doesn’t come out anymore, it’s as if someone else speaks, you understand?

What time is it?

Quarter past eleven.

After some time, I will be able to say certain things, but... Do you hear when I speak?

Yes, yes, Mother, very clearly!

(silence

Mother moans now and then)

Later... Later.

(Mother takes Satprem’s hands)

I will soon have a dangerous contagion, you know! (Mother laughs)

(Regrettably, Satprem did not preserve the recording of the following conversation, perhaps feeling too

acutely the negative appearance of Mother’s difficulties, although that very negativity was the My eyesight has gone down a lot these last two days.

(silence)

There’s a difficulty.... I am beginning to be unable to eat, so... Things are becoming difficult.

Is it the consciousness or the body?

It’s... I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going on.

(silence)

The body seems to be straddling... (gesture between two worlds). Naturally, it still has all the old habits, so that makes for... it makes for a queer thing. It’s only the consciousness that’s clearer than it has ever been. Consciousness of what goes on in people... But speaking is a difficult thing, very difficult, and the sight is... (Mother shakes her head).

(long silence)

Don’t know.

(long silence)

It really is a very strange condition. Very strange.

You know, this whole base, from automatism to all the things one does out of habit, is... (yes, there’s an enormous quantity of things one does automatically)... it’s gone. So that’s... difficult.

(silence)

It’s especially, especially the question of eating, because for an extremely long time (many years) there has been no interest in food, none at all. It’s taken only... it’s taken with a certain knowledge of what is needed, but that’s all. Well, now, it’s... almost difficult to swallow. Especially that: very difficult to swallow.

(Mother goes into a long contemplation)

There is also a difficulty breathing. Breath is... is short.

(silence)

What’s going to happen? I don’t know. (Mother laughs)

But the Power is more and more massive, I feel.

Yes, yes. Oh, and at times... Listen, yesterday I saw a boy who’d taken a wrong turn (he is in