Chapter 65December 23, 1960

all these things must be consciously full of Him; they are full of Him, in actual fact, but it must become conscious, with the perception that it is all the very substance of His being which is moving in everything ...

It was quite beautiful on the balcony this morning ... A sweetness, a sensation ... (both together) a sensation of eternity, and a sweetness! I wonder if it’s even possible for anything to escape That!

(silence)

Of course, if one is so unfortunate as to start thinking, it’s all over.

(silence)

It’s a FACT. It’s not a thought, not something you observe – you aren’t a witness: it’s A FACT which is LIVED. So if you want to translate the experience, you’d have to say the most paradoxical of things, like Sri Aurobindo – so paradoxical that they are almost offensive to reason! Yes, more, far more than paradoxical.

(Mother arrives from a meditation with X, the tantric guru)

(Mother remains absorbed for a long time)

to see if there would be any difference from earlier times. And really, at first there was no difference at all. Then slowly, slowly, I felt this type of smiling and serene peace that I live in entering into the body. The cells are still not always conscious of it (sometimes they feel a sort of ... tension of life – I don’t know what to call it). They’re conscious of their existence and of what it means and of the Energy that is acting (yes, conscious of the Action and the Energy that acts), but during the meditation THAT descended and there was an extraordinary relaxation. Not the relaxation that comes with surrender,261 which I normally feel before sleeping, but the relaxation that comes from a kind of serene, immutable and eternal joy. At that moment the body felt it could remain like that forever! ‘Oh, how nice I feel! ...’ it said. And as a matter of fact, I’m not sure but I think he felt the meditation was over, whereas I was still ... I felt him stirring, so I stopped.

There was a marked difference.