Chapter 30Vibration of hate and love are the same

say that one is the slave of what one hates just as much as of what one loves, perhaps even more so. It is something that grips you, that haunts you, and which you cherish; a sensation you cherish, for underneath its violence there is a warmth of attraction which is just as great as the warmth you feel for what you love. And it seems that this distortion in the appearance only exists in the activity of the manifestation, that is, entirely on the surface.

One is obsessed by what one hates even more than by what one loves. And the obsession comes from this inner vibration.

All these “feelings” — what to call them? — have a mode of vibration, with something very essential at the core, and covering layers, as it were. And the most central vibration is the same, and as it expands to express itself, it becomes distorted. With love, it is quite obvious; it becomes, outwardly, in the vast majority of cases, something whose nature is quite different from the inner vibration, because it is something that withdraws into itself, shrivels up and wants to draw things towards itself in an egoistic movement of possession. You want to be loved. You say, “I love that person,” but at the same time there is what you want; the feeling is lived as, “I want to be loved.” And so this distortion is almost as great as the distortion of hatred which consists in wanting to destroy what you love in order not to be bound by it. Because you cannot obtain what you want from the object of your love, you want to destroy it in order to become free; in the other case, you shrivel up almost in an inner rage, because you cannot obtain, you cannot absorb what you love. And truly speaking (laughing), from the standpoint of the deeper truth, there is not much difference!

It is only when the central vibration remains pure and ex-presses itself in its initial purity, which is an unfolding — what to call it?... it is something that radiates, a vibration that spreads out in splendour; and it is a blossoming, yes, a radiant blossom-ing — then it remains true. And materially, this is translated as self-giving, self-forgetfulness, generosity of soul. And that is the