Chapter 212 January

The whole thing is to hold on. And to hold on, I have found only one way; it is this Calm, the inner calm — a calm that has to become all the more... (how to say it?) complete, as the struggle is more material.

There has been for some time past (particularly since the first of January) a kind of bombardment of adverse forces — a fury, you know. Then you must remain like this (Mother becomes immobile like a statue), that is all. And when physically you have been shaken, you must not ask too much of the body, you must give it a good deal of tranquillity, a good deal of rest.

The difficulty is that I am very much absorbed by the condition of this body, it takes away much of my consciousness — the physical mind, for example, invades me completely.

Yes, I know it very well. But that is always the difficulty, the difficulty of everyone. That is why in the past they used to tell you, “Get away! Leave it alone to flounder about — you get away.” But we have no right to do that, it is contrary to our work. And you know, you can arrive very well at an almost absolute freedom with regard to your body, so much so that you can feel nothing, nothing at all. But I no longer have even the right to exteriorise myself, just imagine! Even when I am quite unwell or things are quite difficult or even when I am left a little quiet, that is to say, at night, and I say to myself, “Oh, to go into my blissfulness” — it is not permitted. I am bound there (Mother touches her body). It is there, there that it is to be realised.

It is for that. Only from time to time, for a precise action (sometimes it comes like a flash of lightning, sometimes for a few minutes only), the great Power that was there before, that used to be constantly felt, comes rushing, does its work, then goes away. But never on this body. It never does anything for this body — it is not a higher intervention that will change it, it is... from within.

The same thing is happening to you, it happens to everybody who does the work, and that is the difficulty. That is why I tell you: “It does not matter, do not worry if you are occupied with your body; only try to profit by that — profit by this preoccupation — to bring into it the Peace, the Peace.” Always it is as though I was enveloping you within a cocoon of Peace. And then, if you could put, precisely into this mind that vibrates, stirs all the while, truly like a monkey, if you could put there... it is a Peace which acts directly in this material vibration — a Peace in which everything relaxes.

Do not think, do not think of trying to transform this physical mind or to silence it or abolish it; all that is still activity. Simply let it go on, but... put the Peace, feel the Peace, live the Peace, know the Peace — the Peace, the Peace.

That is the only thing.

24 March 1965

S had a rather bad dream. She came to a house over which one had to keep watch, and none had done it; en-emies had entered. S went into this house, found a room and Sri Aurobindo was there with a wound in his foot; he was groaning. He had been wounded by the enemies who had been allowed to enter into the house. Seeing Sri Aurobindo wounded, she ran, ran looking for you.

It is perhaps simply an image of what happened on February 11.1

The foot means something physical. I believe it is that, it is only a symbolic image of what happened.

It is not something that is going to happen?

Premonitory? No.

The foot means his physical action through some people or through the Ashram or through me.

I do not think it is serious. It is the image of what happened and it was recorded somewhere.

(Silence)

It is quite a curious development. For some time past, but in a more and more precise manner, when I hear something or something is read to me, or when I hear music or someone narrates a fact, I feel immediately: the origin of the activity or the plane on which it is happening or the origin of the inspiration is rendered 1 The Ashram was attacked by rioters. Some houses were looted and burnt.

automatically by a vibration in one of the centres. And then, according to the quality of the vibration, it is either constructive or negative, and when that touches, however little it may be, at a given moment, a domain of Truth, there is... (how to say it?) a spark, as it were, of a vibration of Ananda. And the thought is absolutely silent, immobile, nothing — nothing (Mother opens her hands upward in a gesture of total self-offering). But this perception is becoming more and more precise. And I know in this way — I know where the inspiration comes from or where the action is situated and the quality of the thing.

And it has a precision! oh! infinitesimal in detail. The first time I felt it clearly was when I heard the music composed for “The Hour of God”; it was the first occasion and at that time I did not know that it was a well-organised thing, a kind of organisation of experience. But now, after all these months, that has been regularised and for me it is an absolutely sure indication, which does not correspond to any active thought, any active will — I am simply an infinitely delicate machine for receiving vibrations. That is how I know where things come from. There is no thought. That is how the vibration of this dream came to me (Mother makes a gesture downward, under the feet); it was in the domain of the subconscient. So I knew that it was a matter of recording.

The other day when Z read to me his article, it was neutral (vague gesture at mid-height), all the while neutral, then all of a sudden, a spark of Ananda; it was this which made me appreciate it. And just now, when you read this text of Y, there was a small ray of light (gesture at the height of the throat), then I knew. A pleasant ray of light — not of Ananda, but a pleasant light, so I knew that there was something in it.

And there are degrees, to be sure, almost an infinity of qualities.

That is the way given to me for finding out the position of things.

And it is quite, quite outside the thought. Only afterwards, when you asked me, for example, about the dream, I said, “Logically, since the vibration is there (downward gesture), it must be a memory.” And with a kind of certitude, because... because the perception is altogether impersonal.

It is an extraordinarily delicate mechanism and its field of receptivity (gesture of gradation) almost infinite.

My way of knowing people is also like that now. But since a long time past, when I see a photograph, for example, it does not at all pass through the thought; these are not deductions or intuitions — that creates a vibration somewhere. And then amusing things also happen. The other day I was given the photograph of someone, then I clearly felt it; by the place which was touched, by the answering vibration, I knew that this man had the habit of handling ideas and possessed the assurance of someone who teaches. I ask, in order to see, “What does this man do?” I am told, “He does business.” Then I say, “But he is not made for business, he understands nothing of it.” And three minutes after I am told, “Ah, excuse me, please; he is a professor!” (Mother laughs) It is like that.

And it is so constantly, constantly: the evaluation of the world, the vibrations of the world.

That is why I asked you to give me your hands just now. Why? It was just to have the vibration. Well, I felt what is called in English “a sort of dullness”. I said to myself: “He is not all right.”

And no thinking, nothing, simply like this (Mother remains still in a gesture of self-offering upward).

Then what is it that is not all right? (Mother laughs) Yes, it is that, it is a kind of dullness.

Yes, I am very much sunk in Matter.

It is that.

It is not funny.