Chapter 1730 August

For the last several nights I have been passing almost the whole night, many hours, in a place which must certainly belong to the subtle physical and where the material life gets reorganised. It is vast — vast — the crowd is innumerable, but these are indi-vidualities, not a crowd; that is to say, I have to deal with each one of them. And then, it is as though at the same time there are documents and writing tables but no walls around! It is a curious place, a very curious place.

I have asked myself many a time whether it was the memory of physical forms that made me see this world in that way or whether it is really like that. At times there is no doubt, because it has a character altogether its own, but at other times there is a doubt and I ask myself if it is not in my active memory. Because I am very conscious at that time and everything is extremely natural, and indeed permanent: I find again the same things at the same place, sometimes with slight differences, but differences necessitated by action. That is to say, it is a coherent world, it is not a disorderly imagination. But to what extent are these forms the reflection of natural forms? To what extent are they like that or do we see them like that? I am not yet very sure. I had the same problem when I used to go into the Overmind and see the gods: I had always a kind of hesitation in knowing whether they are truly like that or whether we perceive them like that because of our physical habits.... There, after some time, I came to a conclusion; but here, physically...?

It is a curious thing: there are no doors, no windows, neither ceiling nor floor; all this exists in itself, it does not seem to obey the law of gravitation, that is to say, there is no magnetic attraction of the earth, and yet when one writes (Mother laughs) there seems to be a pen! And when one writes upon something, there seems to be a piece of paper; and when there are documents, they seem to be in dockets.... One feels that the substance is not the same, but the appearance is very close. And it is this appearance, and I am yet again putting the question to myself: “Is it because of our ordinary cerebral working that we put this appearance upon it or is it truly so?”

There I meet almost everybody. I told you, you are there very regularly and we work. You do not remember. There are others who remember, but their memory is (gesture of a slight twisting of the finger) just a little off the line; that is to say, it is not exactly the same as what I saw. So when they tell me about it, I have altogether the feeling that it is the transcription in their brain that made it so.... And the objective reality of the material world comes from this, that if you see the same object ten times, ten times it resembles itself, with differences that are reasonable, which could be differences due to usage, for example; but there also it is like this! And if you study carefully, even in the physical world two persons do not see things exactly in the same way. There, perhaps it is more accentuated, but it seems to be a similar phenomenon.... The explanation becomes very simple, very easy when you enter into the consciousness where the material reality itself becomes an illusion; it is illusory, it is not exact: the inner reality is more true. Then in that case, it is simple. It is perhaps only our mind that is astonished.

Take writing, for example. I have not observed in detail, but when one writes there, one seems to write much more easily. I do not know how to explain it, it takes much less time and things are noted down on paper — but is it really paper? It looks like paper, but things are noted down much more directly.... There is perhaps a similarity, as for example when you use a pen or a pencil: it is not exactly a pen or a pencil but something resembling it, which is... (how to say it?) the prototype or the principle of this object. But what I mean to say is that if we were still in the age of the quill or the pen that one dips in a liquid, probably I would see it like that! It is the essence or the principle of the thing that is translated in the memory by a similarity.

But it is an action. I know the time only when I come back, for I have made it a habit to notice the time whenever I come back to the material consciousness (I have a watch beside my bed and I look at it) and that is how I can say: “This lasted one hour, that lasted two hours.” But there, one has not the sense of time, it is not the same sense — it is the content of the action that matters, and during those hours many, many things are done, many. And so I meet you there very regularly, but many others also, and I am at many places at the same time! And when a person tells me, “But I saw you last night, you did this and that”, then up there somewhere, I say, “Yes, it is true”, there is just a little (same gesture of twisting), just a little difference, but the essence of the thing is the same.

And I have noticed that these things that are quite near the physical disappear if you wake up all of a sudden, particularly if you stir while waking up, if you make a movement or if you turn on your side. It is only afterwards, if at some time I am very quiet and go within myself, then slowly I can again come in contact with that state. Therefore, it does not surprise me that the majority of people do not remember. Experiences in the vital, in the mental are remembered much more easily, but that which is quite close to the physical...

And it has such a character that if one kept the consciousness of it on waking up, one would look somewhat like a mad person. I had the experience of it just two days back and it has taught me a great deal — I looked, studied and studied until I understood. It was during my afternoon rest (I do not at all sleep in the afternoon, but I go like that into the inner consciousness) and I had fixed beforehand that I would wake up at such an hour, that is to say, I would get up. When it was time, I was deep in the midst of my action and the state of consciousness continued with my eyes open; and then, in that state of consciousness, there was... I cannot say “I”, for it was not the same “I” — no, I am many persons at that moment — but the “I” of that moment had the habit of carrying a watch, a golden wrist-watch (not here materially, but up there) and had forgotten to put on the watch and looked for it and noticed: “Ah! I forgot to put on my watch. What has become of this watch? Why did I forget?” And when I woke up (I do not carry a watch, you know) and came back to myself, the two consciousnesses were simultaneous and I said loudly, “Where is my watch? I have forgotten to put on my watch”, and it is only when I said that (Mother laughs) that I became aware! So that made me reflect; I studied well, looked quietly, saw closely that at that moment the two consciousnesses are quite (Mother superimposes her two hands closely), quite simultaneous.

It is very interesting. Oh! There were all sorts of problems which have been solved by that experience. For example, the problem of many who are taken as mad, but who are simply in this subtle consciousness (same gesture of superimposition) which dominates at a given moment and which makes them say things that have no meaning here but have a very clear meaning there. And the consciousness is like this (gesture of superimposition, of almost melting together). This explains many cases of so-called madness. There are also cases of apparent insincerity that are also of like nature, because the consciousness sees clearly in this domain and it is a domain so near that the same names could be given to things; they seem to have the same or quite similar forms, but it is not what is here known by the name “tangible reality”; materially, externally, things are not quite like that. And so there are cases of so-called insincerity which are simply too close a mixture of the two consciousnesses — too close for active discernment. Oh! A whole domain has been made clear, and not only made clear, but has brought with it the key to healing or to transformation. From an inner psychological point of view, this has explained things to an enormous degree, to an enormous degree. That reduces considerably the number of cases of true mental alienation and cases of real falsehood, that is to say, cases where one says deliberately, consciously, the contrary of what is — it cannot be as frequent as one believes. Many say things like that (gesture of floating), things inexact, but which they perceive in a world other than the purely material, in too close a mixture and with not enough discrimination to discover the mixture.... Sri Auro-bindo used to say that cases of real ill-will, real hostility and real falsehood are very rare, that is to say, “real” in its absolute sense, in themselves, and conscious, deliberate — deliberate, absolute, conscious — that is rare; and it is that which is described as the hostile beings. But all the rest is a kind of illusion of consciousness — of consciousnesses that intermingle with each other (Mother passes the fingers of her right hand into those of the left in a to-and-fro movement) and, being without precise discrimination between the different consciousnesses, are like this (same gesture), mixed, the one entering and coming out of the other.

(Silence)

So the result was to see the immensity of the problem to be solved and of the way to follow and the transformation to achieve.... When you look from the purely psychological standpoint, it becomes relatively easy and quick, but when you come to this (Mother touches her body), to the external form, to what is called Matter, oh, it is a world! Each lesson — it is like lessons that are given, it is so interesting! lessons with all the conse-quences and explanations; you pass a day, two days to make a small, a very small discovery. And then you see that in the bodily consciousness, after that, after these days or these hours of work, the light is there, it is changed — it is changed, the reactions are no longer the same, but... (gesture indicating a world of work).

And the Presence, the Presence becomes more and more intimate, more and more concrete, and at that time there are moments when it is (gesture of swelling up) so concrete that it seems to be absolute, and then (gesture of covering) another state of consciousness comes up and all has to be begun again.

It is interesting. And it is precisely to teach you.... The great words, the great attitudes, the great experiences, all that is very good up there, but here... nothing spectacular — everything is very modest, very calm, very effaced — very modest. And this is the condition for progress, the condition for transformation.

There, my child.

15 November 1967

One has the feeling that unless something like a miracle happens, in the sense in which man understands miracles, well, it will take many centuries.

But did you ever expect that it would not take time?

Yes, evidently.

But I never thought — I never thought that it could come quickly. First of all, one has only to try, as I do, on one’s own body, see the difference between matter as it is, the constitution as it is, and then... what one may conceive of a divine existence — that is to say, divine, which is not at every second tied to the obscurity of a half inconscient matter... How long will it take? How long has it taken to change the stone into the plant, the plant into the animal, the animal...? We do not know, but in the way things move... Now that they have become so clever in calculating, when do they think the earth was formed? How many millions and millions of years? And all that to arrive at where we are now.

Naturally, the more it moves, the more it goes quickly, it is understood, but quickly... quickly?

If the process has to be “natural”, it will take an eternity.

No! It is not a question of being “natural”. Nature has arranged things progressively to manifest the consciousness; that is to say, the whole work has been to prepare the Inconscient in such a way that it may become conscious. Naturally, now the consciousness is there, at least in a large measure; hence it goes much quicker; that is to say, the bulk of the work is done. But still, as I have said, when one sees the degree to which it is tied to inconscience, to a half-vague consciousness, and sees that men who do not know still feel the “fatality”, the “destiny” — what they call “Nature” and all that dominates and rules — well, for the last change to be done, all that must become fully conscious, and not only in the mental way — that is not sufficient — but in the divine way! So, much remains to be done.

This is just what I see every day with this poor little body, and then, all that surrounds it (gesture of a crowding all around), all this substance as it is, oh!... nothing but illness and misery and disorder. Oh! All that has nothing in common with the Divine. An unconscious mass.

Do you mean to say: Unless something comes down and by force changes it?

Yes.

But Sri Aurobindo says (I read it two days ago, I do not know where he has written it, for it was only a quotation) that if the divine Consciousness, the divine Power, the divine Love, the Truth manifested itself too rapidly upon the earth, the earth would be dissolved! She would not be able to bear it... brrf!

I am translating, but the idea is that.

But perhaps not the highest divine dose, but a small divine dose!

(Mother laughs) The smaller dose is always there. It is always there, a small dose; there is even a somewhat strong dose, and if one looks at That, one is full of wonder. But it is just because of That that one still sees... how things are.

Well, there is not a day when it has not been noticed that one dose, not a full dose but just a little dose, an infinitesimal drop of That, can cure you in a minute — “it can”: it does cure you, not “it can”; you are all the while in that state, poised, and the least failing means disorder and the end; and just one drop of That... it becomes light and progress. The two extremes. The two extremes are side by side.

It is an observation that one makes at least several times a day.

But naturally, if this instrument was made to observe, to explain, to describe, it could say wonderful things, but, well... I think — I do not know, but it seems to be the first time that the instrument, instead of being made in order to bring the “Good Tidings”, the “Revelation”, to give the signal, has been made to... to try to realise — to do the work, the obscure task. And so it observes, but it does not get into an ecstatic joy of observation, and it is compelled at every minute to see, in spite of that, how much work still remains to be done.... And so, as regards itself it can rejoice only when the work has been done — but what does that mean, the “work done”?... Something that is established. This divine Presence, this divine Consciousness, this divine Truth manifests itself like this, in a flash, and then... everything goes on in its usual trot — there is a change, but an imperceptible change. Well, for it (the body), this is all right, and I think it is that which sustains its courage and gives it a kind of smiling peace in spite of all that is so little satisfactory with regard to the result; but this cannot satisfy it, it will be satisfied only... when the thing will be done, that is to say, when what is now a revelation — dazzling but short-lived — will be an established fact, when truly there will be divine bodies, divine beings dealing with the world in a divine way; then, then only it will say, “Yes, that is it”, but not before. Well, that, I do not believe that it can be immediately.

Because I see very well, very well what is at work; I have told you, there are things which, yes, if I had to narrate and explain and predict, one could make with it a whole teaching, with only one of these experiences — I have at least several of them in a day. But that serves no purpose, to be sure, I know it. And it is not impatience, it is not even a lack of satisfaction, nothing of the kind; it is a... a Force, a Will that moves forward step by step and that cannot stop in order to tell the story, to rest content with what has been done.

(Silence)

Is there anywhere upon earth a being truly divine, that is to say, who is not ruled by any law of inconscience?... One would know, it seems to me. If it existed and I did not know it, then I must say that I must have somewhere in me a very great insincerity for such a thing to happen.

To say the truth, I do not ask myself the question. In all, all who are known, all who have taken the position of revelators of the new world or realisers of the new life, every one of them possesses a certain percentage of unconsciousness very much greater than mine, then... But this is all that is known publicly. Is there a being somewhere and nobody knows him?... It would surprise me if there was no communication. I do not know.

Well, there are many, many, quite an outburst of new Christs, of Kalkis,1 of Supermen, oh! There are very many of them, but generally, in some way there is communication, in any case their existence comes to be known; well, among all of them, all with whom I have come in contact, visible or invisible, there is not a single one who has... (how to say it?) less unconsciousness than there is in this body — but I recognise there is much of it, oh!

The process I do not see, how to get out of this inertia, this unconsciousness.

Process, what process? Of transformation?

1 The last Avatar according to Hindu tradition.

Yes. It is said that the consciousness must act and awaken all that...

But it is doing that!

Yes, it is doing that, but...

It does not stop doing it!

The answer is this: all at once there is the perception (oh! all these are subtle, very subtle things, but for the consciousness precisely, it is very concrete), the perception of a kind of disor-ganisation, like a current of disorganisation; then the substance constituting the body begins at first by feeling, then by noticing the effect, then everything begins to be disorganised. It is this disorganisation that prevents the cohesion necessary for the cells to constitute an individual body; then one knows, ah! (gesture of dissolution), it is going to be finished. Then the cells aspire, and there is something like a central consciousness of the body which aspires intensely, with a surrender as complete as it can make: “Thy Will, Lord, Thy Will, Thy Will.” Then there is a kind of — not anything bursting aloud, not any dazzling flash, but a kind of... yes, it gives the feeling of a condensation of this current of disorganisation, and then something stops; at first a peace, then a light, then the Harmony — and the disorder disappears. And when the disorder has disappeared, at once there is this feeling in the cells that they live the eternity, for the eternity.

Well, this, in this way, with all the intensity of concrete reality, is happening not only daily but many times in a day. At times it is very severe, that is to say, like a mass. Sometimes it is only a thing that touches; then in the consciousness of the body it translates itself in this way, as a kind of thanksgiving: a progress in fact over the inconscience. Only, these are not resounding events; the human neighbour does not even know it, he can perhaps notice a kind of cessation in the outward activity, a kind of concentration, but that’s all. So one does not speak of the matter, one cannot write books on it, one does not do propaganda about it.... It is this, the work.

All, all the mental aspirations are not satisfied with this. It is a work very obscure.

(Mother goes into a long contemplation.)

It is a day or two now, I do not know, there was, as it were, a total vision of this effort of the earth towards its divinisation, and it was as if someone were saying (it is not “someone”, it is the witness consciousness, the consciousness that observes, but it formulates itself in words; very often it formulates itself in English and I have the feeling that it is Sri Aurobindo, the active consciousness of Sri Aurobindo, but sometimes it is translated into words only in my consciousness) and it was something that said, “Yes, the time of proclamations, of revelations is gone — now to action.”

In fact, proclamations, revelations, prophecies, all that is very agreeable, it gives the feeling of something “concrete”; now it is very obscure, the feeling that it is very obscure, invisible (the results will be visible only a long, long time hereafter), not understood.

It belongs to a domain which is not yet ready to be ex-plained, to be manifested in words.

And indeed, to the extent that it is truly new, it is incomprehensible. What I say does not correspond to any experience lived through by him who reads about it.

And I see quite well, I see so well the little work like this (gesture of reversal) which would be needed for it to become a prophetic revelation. A little work, a little reversal in the mind — the experience is altogether outside the mind, and so what is spoken of it (Mother tilts her head)... Precisely because it is not mental, the thing is almost incomprehensible; and for all this (oh! it is visible) for all this to become accessible, just a little reversal (same gesture) in the mind and it becomes a prophecy. And that... that is not possible. It will lose its truth.

There you are. Yes, it is on the way.

22 November 1967 There is a progress.

At the end of the physical demonstration on the 2nd of December,1 all the children in a chorus are going to pray, and I have written the prayer for them. I am going to read it to you. But I had not thought of it; I was asked and I did it.

Probably they read the Bulletin and so they asked for a prayer — a prayer that is truly of the body. And I answered:

The prayer of the cells of the body

Now that, by the effect of the Grace, we are slowly emerging out of inconscience and waking to a conscious life, an ardent prayer rises in us for more light, more consciousness,

“O Supreme Lord of the universe, we implore Thee,

give us the strength and the beauty, the harmonious perfection needed to be Thy divine instruments upon earth.”

It is almost a proclamation.

After the demonstration they are going to say it. It appears they are going to show the whole historical growth of physical culture and then at the end they will say: we have not come to the end, we are at the beginning of something and here is our prayer.

I was very glad.

You say there is a progress?

1 Every year on this date, the children of the School and the Ashram sadhaks who take part in sports give a general demonstration of physical culture.

A progress! A tremendous progress! They had never thought, never; there in the totality they had never thought of achieving the transformation: they were thinking of becoming the best athletes in the world and all the usual nonsense.

The body, you see, they asked for a prayer of the body. They have come to understand that the body must begin to transform itself into something else. Before this, they were quite full of the whole history of physical culture in all the countries, and the country where it is most advanced and how to use the body as it is, etc. Well, it was the ideal of the Olympics. Now they have jumped beyond; that was the past, now they want transformation.

Yes, people in their mind and their vital asked to become divine; well, it is all the old story of spirituality, reiterated for centuries. No, now it is the body. It is the body that wants to participate. It is altogether a progress.

Yes, but one can see very well how in the mind the aspiration maintains itself, how it lives by itself. In the heart also, one sees very well how the aspiration lives. But in the body? How to awaken this aspiration in the body?

But it is already fully awake for months in me! So it must be they have just now felt it and they feel it.

How is it done? — it is in the process of being done.

But how in oneself...

No, no, no. If it has been done in one single body, it can be done in all bodies.

Yes, but I ask how... yes, how?

Well, that is what I have been trying to explain for months.

First of all, to awaken the consciousness in the cells...

Well, yes!

Yes, of course, but once it is done, it is done: the consciousness wakes up more and more, the cells live consciously, aspire consciously. I have been trying to explain it for months; for months and months I have been trying to explain it. And so it is just that which has pleased me, that they have understood at least the possibility.

The same consciousness which was the monopoly of the vital and the mind has become that of the body: the consciousness is working in the cells of the body.

The cells of the body are becoming something conscious, wholly conscious.

A consciousness that is independent, not depending at all upon the vital or the mental consciousness: it is a bodily consciousness.

(Silence)

And this physical mind of which Sri Aurobindo said that it was an impossibility, that it was something that turns round and round and will always turn round and round, precisely without consciousness, like a kind of machine, that mind has been converted, has become silent, and in the silence it has received the inspiration of the Consciousness. And it has begun again to pray: the same prayers that were there before in the mind.

I quite understand what can happen in you, but...

But since it is happening in one body, it can happen in all bodies! I am not made of something different from the others. The difference is in consciousness, that is all. It is made exactly of the same thing, with the same things, I eat the same things, and it was made in the same way, absolutely.

And it was as stupid, as obscure, as unconscious, as obstinate as all the bodies of the world.

And this began when the doctors declared that I was very ill,2 that was the beginning. Because the entire body was emptied of its habits and its forces, and then slowly, slowly, slowly the cells woke up to a new receptivity and opened themselves to the Divine Influence directly.

Otherwise there would be no hope. If this matter that started by being... Even a pebble is already an organisation — certainly it was worse than a pebble: unconscious, inert, absolute; and then, little by little, little by little that woke up. It sees, yes, it sees, it has only to open its eyes to see. Well, it is the same thing which happens: for the animal to become a man it did not require anything other than the infusion of a consciousness, a mental consciousness; and now it is the awakening of this consciousness which was altogether at the bottom, the very bottom. The mind is withdrawn, the vital is withdrawn, all is withdrawn. At the time when I was said to be ill, the mind was gone, the vital was gone, the body was left to itself — purposely. Yes, it is that, it is just because the vital and the mental were gone that it gave the impression of a very serious illness. And then, in the body left to itself, little by little the cells began to wake up to the consciousness (gesture of aspiration rising up); this consciousness that was infused into the body by the vital (from the mental into the vital, from the vital into the body), when both had disappeared, the consciousness emerged slowly, slowly. That started with a burst of the Love from the highest summit, the last supreme altitude, and then little by little, little by little, it came down into the body. And then this physical mind, that is to say, something altogether, altogether stupid, which used to turn round and round, repeating always the same thing, a hundred 2 During the spring of 1962.

times the same thing, little by little it was illumined, became conscious, was organised, and then it entered into the silence; then in the silence the aspiration expressed itself in prayers.

(Silence)

It is the contradiction of all the spiritual assertions of the past: “If you want to live fully conscious of the divine life, give up your body — the body cannot follow”; well, Sri Aurobindo came and said: the body, not only can it follow, it can even be the base for manifesting the Divine.

The work remains to be done. But now a certitude is there. The result remains still far off, very far; much has to be done before the crust, the experience of the most external surface as it is, manifests what is happening within (not “within” in the spiritual depths: within the body). To enable that to manifest what is within... This will come last, and it is good it is so, for if it came before time, one would neglect the work, one would be so satisfied as to forget to finish his work; everything should be done within, should be well and good, should be thoroughly changed, then the outside will speak it out.

But it is all one single substance, all similar everywhere, and everywhere it was unconscious; and then what is remarkable is that automatically things are happening (gesture showing points scattered everywhere in the world) altogether unexpected, here and there, in people who do not even know anything.

(Silence)

The material cells have to obtain the capacity to receive and to manifest consciousness. And then what makes for a radical transformation is that in place of, so to say, an eternal and indefinite ascent, there is the appearance of a new type — it is a descent from above. The previous descent was a mental descent, and this one, Sri Aurobindo calls it a supramental descent; the impression is that of a descent of the supreme Consciousness which infuses itself into something that is capable of receiving it and manifesting it. And then, out of this, when it has been thoroughly churned (how long it will take, one does not know), a new form will take birth, which will be what Sri Aurobindo called the supramental form — which will be... it does not matter what, I do not know what these beings will be called.

How will they express themselves, how will they make themselves understood, and all that?... In man, it has developed very slowly. Only the mind has laboured much and basically has made things move quicker.

How is one going to reach there?... There will surely be stages in the manifestation, with perhaps a specimen that will come and say: this is how it is. (Mother looks in front) One sees that.

Only, when man came out of the animal, there was no means of recording — of noting down and keeping an account of the process — now it is quite different, so it will be more interesting.

(Silence)

But still at the present moment, the vast majority — the vast majority — of the intellectual humanity is perfectly satisfied with being busy with itself and its bits of progress like this (Mother draws a microscopic circle). It has not even — not even the desire to be anything else.

This means that the coming of the superhuman being... it may very well pass unperceived or not be understood. One cannot say, for there is no analogy; evidently if a monkey, one of the big monkeys, had met the first man, he would simply have felt that it was a being a little... queer, that’s all. But now it is different, because man thinks, reasons.

But with regard to all that is superior to man, man has been accustomed to think that these were beings... divine beings, that is to say, they had no body, they appeared in the light — in short, all the gods as they have been conceived — but it is not at all like that.

(Long silence)

Then?

You are not convinced? Why don’t you try?

Of course! That is why I put the question to you. I am not doubting anything whatsoever. I put the question to you, I asked you: “How is one to do it, I do not know how it is done.”... For example, in the morning I shave myself; well, in the morning one is stupid, one is tired, the mind refuses to work, the vital refuses to work...

Yes, it is an excellent occasion.

Certainly, it is just what I do, and I say: well, no, I do not see. I do not know how to make it move — it does not move. It does not move unless I put my mind or vital or heart to it.

Bah!

It is not that I am doubting. I say that my body is an ass, quite possibly, but I do not doubt.

It is not an ass, poor fellow! (Mother laughs.)

Doubts I do not have, but the question about the “how”, that, yes, I do not know.

For me that problem never arose, because... When one plays music or does painting, one sees very well that the consciousness enters into the cells and these cells become conscious. This experience, for example: there are things in a box and one says to the hand: “Take twelve”; (without counting, like that) the hand picks up the twelve and gives them to you. That is an experience that I had long, long ago. At the age of twenty I started having experiences like that, therefore I know. I knew how the consciousness works. Well, it is impossible to learn piano or to do painting unless the consciousness enters into the hands and the hands become conscious independently of the head. The head can be busy elsewhere, that has no importance. Besides, this is exactly what happens in the case of people called somnambulists: they have a consciousness belonging to the body that makes them move and do things [that are] quite independent of the mind and the vital.

I mean to say that when I am before the mirror for shaving, if I do not put within me the mantra or an aspiration coming from the heart, well, it is an inert block that is shaving, and add to that the physical mind whirling. But if I put a mantra or a mental will...

But no! It is the body that ends by saying the mantra! Spontaneously, so spontaneously that even if you by chance think of other things, your body will be saying the mantra. You do not have this experience?

No.

And it is the body that aspires, the body that says the mantra, the body that wants the light, the body that wants the consciousness — you, you can think of other things, Tom, Dick or Harry, a book, etc., it has no importance.

But now I understand very well, very well; in the beginning I did not understand, I believed that I was made “ill” so that I would stop the life that I was leading when I was downstairs3 — but I lead a life still more busy than the life downstairs, therefore... I asked myself why, whether it was a period of transition. But now I understand: cut off, I fainted in a swoon. That is why the doctor declared that I was ill: I could not move a step without fainting; I wanted to walk from here to there: on the way, pouf! I fainted. Someone had to hold me so that the body would not fall down. But as for me, I did not lose consciousness for a single minute. I fainted, but I was conscious, I saw my body, I knew that I had fainted, I did not lose consciousness, and the body also did not lose consciousness. So now I understand: it was cut off from the vital and the mental and left to its own resources; it was simply the body: all that it knew, all the experiences it had had, all the mastery that was there in all the states of being, the vital, the mental and above, all that gone! and this poor body left to itself. And then naturally, little by little, all that was rebuilt, rebuilt, a conscious, purely conscious being.

Yes, I understand, I understand. But truly it was cut off, that I have known — I have seen — cut off, the states of being sent away: “Go away, you are no longer wanted.” And then a new life needed to be built up. And instead of the necessity of passing through all the states of being as was done before, by successive awakenings (gesture of ascent step by step as done by the old yogis) up to the highest, the very highest, beyond form — now it is not at all like that, it needed nothing at all of all that, it has simply to... (gesture of aspiration that rises and opens like a flower). Something has opened and developed within, and that is why this stupid mind has been organised, has been capable of being silent in an aspiration; and then... then it was the direct contact, without any intermediary — direct contact. And that it has now, all the while. All the while, all the while, the direct contact. And it is the body, it is not through all kinds of things and states of being, not at all, it is direct.

3 Since this “illness” in 1962, Mother retired to her apartments upstairs.

But once it is done (Sri Aurobindo has said this), once one body has done it, it has the capacity to pass it on to others: and I tell you, now — I do not say in the whole and in detail, probably not, but here and there (gesture of scattering, indicating various points upon earth) — all of a sudden one or another experience occurs in people. There are people (the majority) who are afraid; then naturally it goes away — it is because they were not sufficiently prepared within; if it is not the petty routine of every minute, of day to day, they have fear; and once they have fear, it is finished, it means that years of preparation will be needed for this to happen again. But there are some who are not afraid; an experience, all of a sudden! “Ah!...” Something altogether new, altogether unexpected, of which they never thought.

It is contagious, this I know. And it is the only hope, because if everyone had to go again through the same experience... Well, now I am ninety — at ninety people are tired, they have had enough of life. To do that one must feel young like a little child.

And it takes long, I see quite well that it has taken a long time.

And then, it is not done, it is being done, but it is not done — far from it — we are far from it.... What is the percentage of conscious cells? One does not know.

And from time to time there are some that scold the others. It is very amusing! They scold, they catch hold of them, tell them stupidities (in their way) — to those that want (Mother draws a small circle) to continue the old habits: digestion must be done in a certain way, absorption in a certain way, circulation in a certain way, respiration in a certain way... all the functions must be done according to the method of Nature; and when it is not like that, they become anxious. And then those that know, catch hold of them and put them under heavy bombardment in the name of the Lord. It is very amusing!

Something is translated in words (it is without words, but there something is translated in words) and then there are con-versations among the cells (Mother laughs): “Imbecile that you are! Why do you have fear? Don’t you see it is the Lord himself who is doing this to transform you?” And the other: “Ah!...” Then it remains quiet, and then opens itself and waits, and then... the pain goes away, the disorder goes away, and everything is put in order.

It is wonderful. But if by mischance the mind comes in, starts to help or judge, then the whole thing stops, and all fall back into the old habit.

(Long silence)

In reality, it is the ego, vital, mental, etc., all that has been, pouf! taken away.

It was a radical operation. And so now, there is a kind of suppleness, plasticity. And all this is learning — it is very much in relation with the whole (horizontal gesture), but it is learning to look for all its support, all its force, all its knowledge, all its light, all its will, all, all, like that (vertical gesture, turned to the Supreme), solely like that, in an extraordinary plasticity.

And then, the splendour of the Presence.