Chapter 4June 12, 1968

(Following a letter in which Satprem had complained about the difficulty he had writing – or

rewriting, rather – his "Sannyasin," and about the complete unconsciousness of his sleep.)

I didn’t answer you because there was nothing to say – I am trying my best!

I know, and the book is going better!

Ah, good.

The book, I had thought about it three or four days before you wrote your letter, it came very strongly – before you wrote.

As for the nights, I know!

What am I up to at night?

I told you in the past that I used to see you very often; now my nights have been cut down a lot, because I have work to do till very late and I get up very early, so I don’t have much nighttime left. But I always find you in the same place, and there, you are very active and wholly conscious.... It’s the connection between that part of your being and the waking part that’s missing – oh, sometimes it’s nothing at all, a tiny little... You know, as if there were a void between two things. Otherwise you are very conscious, even working very logically: it’s something going on, developing. And it’s from a terrestrial standpoint, it has to do with terrestrial organization. I always see you in the same place, we always work together in the same place. It seems to be very logical.

I wondered... Several times I’ve wondered if it wasn’t for your own good... because if you became very conscious of that part of your being – one is so free, so peaceful, so powerful... that sometimes it makes one feel disgusted with the earth! Several times I’ve wondered if it wasn’t for your own good.

Because there, it’s something that continues: you understand, it’s not "dreams," it’s a reality that continues.

In the past, I used to go there every night; now the nights are very short, so I only go there from time to time, but I always find you there.

What are you doing with your book? Are you revising it or...

No, I am practically rewriting everything.

Oh!

But now I am coming to the end.