Chapter 7October 26, 1968

No, if one takes that attitude, one is never done with it! It will never reach the end. One revises following a certain current, then when one has reached the end, one enters another current, and then... It’s endless.

I knew a painter like that; he was a great painter: Gustave Moreau. But there are few paintings by him, because he was a man who kept doing his paintings over again. He would progress, his vision would progress, and his painting would always appear to him to be outside, unfinished – it couldn’t be finished! So it’s only when he died that they could get his paintings – there were many of them, and they were magnificent. Only, each of them was a movement towards something....

Have you seen his house? He left his house with all that was inside, they made it into a museum.

(silence)

Silence, that’s all I can offer you.

(meditation)

I have nothing to say. I can speak, but I have nothing to say!

Are you all right?

I hardly cough anymore.... But I have nothing to say.

(silence)

This physical, this physical consciousness (I don’t think it’s a personal physical consciousness), the general physical consciousness was, in this body, seized with such a pity, oh!... I can’t say "pity"... it’s something very special: a very intimate, very tender compassion for the human physical condition. But it seized me in massive proportions! Nothing else remained in the consciousness, and if I hadn’t controlled it, I would have started crying and crying....

That has been the dominant note of these last few days.

And as if underneath, as if coming from the depths, beneath, the perception of this Compassion – the divine Compassion – the perception of the way the thing is seen and felt by the Divine.... That was wonderful.

It really was a dominant note.

And there are so to speak no contradictions from outside – I don’t see many people: among them, consciousness and is contented.... Besides, I feel that if one were to scratch a little... [the person’s joy would vanish].

Yes, the condition of human bodies is very miserable.

It’s miserable.

Yes, very much so.

It’s really miserable.

Oh, it’s not at all, it has nothing to do with vital or mental difficulties or any of that.... The body isn’t conscious of that, not interested in that – not interested: when people recount vital or mental difficulties, it finds them quite childish. But the MISERY this body lives in – that’s what is awful.

There have even been moments...

There is, as I said, a CONSTANT call – constant call to the Divine, and even the strong (how can I put it?) perception of his Presence, so then there is a sort of contradiction.... When it began, I said, "How can You want this?"

You see, for a very long time – for years – the spontaneous attitude (it’s not the result of an effort), the body’s spontaneous attitude has been, "It’s my incapacity, my ignorance, my helplessness, my stupidity... that bring about my misery." It considers itself to be solely responsible for all its miseries. But then, that’s the difficulty, it’s this contradiction: "Why, why do You want things to be like this? Why?"

So I spend almost entire days and nights in silence (I mean, without speaking), but seeing – seeing... And there isn’t any sensation or perception of a separate individuality; there are innumerable experiences, dozens of them every day, showing that it’s the identification or unification with other bodies that makes you feel this person’s misery, that person’s misery, the misery of... It’s a fact. And it’s not felt as being another body’s misery, it’s felt as your own. Which means it has become difficult to make a distinction on a plane... (Mother stretches her hands out into the distance). There is a plane ever so slightly more subtle than the quite material plane.... So one isn’t complaining about one’s own misery, it’s that EVERYTHING is one’s misery.

In other words, it’s not an egoistic complaint.

There is a very clear and spontaneous perception that it’s impossible to extract a small part from the whole and make something harmonious out of it when the whole isn’t harmonious.

But why, why?... I can’t understand.... As long as the body felt separate (in the past – very long, very long ago), when it felt itself to be a body separate from others, and more importantly, separate from the Divine, then it made sense: there’s nothing to say, it’s quite natural, it makes sense. But now that for it EVERYTHING truly is the Divine, how, how can that fail to bring about Harmony?... You understand, when on the vital or mental level (and above, of course), you have the experience of identity, you have at the same time the Bliss. Here [in the body], there is the experience of identity, but No Bliss. Why?

Maybe if the body had managed to remain separate, it could have felt something – but that’s not true! It would have been a falsehood.... You see, this identity isn’t the result of an effort, not the result of a will: it’s a FACT – a spontaneous fact, I didn’t make the least attempt to get it. It began like that.

Because there’s all the rest.

Precisely!

Now and then, for... not even a few minutes (it’s a few seconds), there is a clear perception of the true Identity, which is perfect Harmony, and then all disorders cease to exist – but... materially they exist! Take a very simple instance: my teeth are all loose in my mouth – it s a FACT – and it’s true that logically, such a condition should be very painful: it’s not. And I see that it is so because of a Presence – that I understand very well. But it doesn’t get cured, far from it! It’s incurable.100

This physical is truly... a mystery. I understand people who have said, "It must be abolished, it’s a falsehood." Yet that’s not true, it’s not a falsehood, it’s... what is it? If we say "a deformation," it doesn’t mean anything.

(silence)

But the power to relieve (not to heal: the power to relieve), far from having diminished, has increased. When I am told that someone is ill, at least ninety-nine times in a hundred, I have already EXPERIENCED the thing, and what I am told makes me say, "Ah, it’s so and so." I have already experienced it as being part of my physical being (gesture in the distance), an immense physical being, you know, immense and without precise form. And it’s this precision and this division that are... (what should I say?)... are they the obstacle or the cause (probably both) that prevent the Harmony from being established? It’s because we REALLY are separate.

But then, can you conceive how a world that’s not really separate would be?... Because, you understand, the question is serious: if for the world to exist as it is, it has to be really separate, and if being really separate is the cause of all misery, then... And yet, in another way (I don’t know how), in another way I know (it’s not "I" who knows: there’s no "I" there), I know, I KNOW (it’s the great "I" who knows) that the desertion, the disappearance of this world is NOT the solution.... But what is it?....

This is the only world where division is no longer the result of a state of consciousness, but a FACT. So?... Everywhere else, it’s the result of a state of consciousness: if the consciousness changes, the state changes – not here. It’s the only world: here. And yet... it [division] is a falsehood.

(silence)

One can easily conceive of a considerable improvement with the establishment of the true Consciousness, because, as I said, there are experiences (quite fleeting, but still) that are very concrete, of even a material harmonization which, seen in that way, looks very much like a miracle. But one conceives that reestablishing the True Consciousness and, along with it, the Harmony it brings, would make a considerable difference.... Probably a difference sufficient for a harmonious and progressive state to be realized – in harmony, not in misery.

That may be the supreme miracle the Divine is trying to achieve: separation – an existing fact – and the state of consciousness of Oneness.

100In a letter (see Cent. Ed., vol. 26, p. 352-353), Sri Aurobindo told the story of a yogi who could prolong his life at will (and lived for more than 200 years), but who kept the same toothache till the end, without ever being able to cure it. He was Swami Brahmananda, who, one day in the 1900s, told a disciple of his (Sardar Mazumdar), "As for the tooth, I have Now, at any rate, I know.... The work in the other states (even, even in a subtle physical) is relatively child’s play. The difficulty is here.

(silence)

So one may conceive of an improvement, even a considerable improvement, a state far more harmonious than the existing one. The existing state... it’s hell, really; it’s only thanks to this Possibility that it’s not hell. It’s because behind that hell, there is this Possibility – which is living, real, existing, tangible, livable – otherwise it’s infernal.... You understand, one gets the impression that all the states of being have been whipped together (you know, like when you make mayonnaise!), all the states of being well mixed together like that, in a great confusion, so naturally the "horrible thing" is bearable... because of all the rest in there. But if you start separating... Oh! (gesture of horror)

What do YOU have to say?

Well, it means that the consciousness of the WHOLE must change. It’s always the same problem:

when the WHOLE totality has progressed, changed its consciousness, the material "fact" should become different.

It appears to be like that.

That’s the problem.

There’s no escape, no way to divide that.

EVERYTHING must change.

Individuality is merely a means of action for the transformation of the whole.

I understand why they said one had to escape! It demands such a transformation... it’s almost an eternity of time.

Once you’ve got out of it, you’re out of it, but all the time you’ve spent to...

"One" can’t be transformed without everything being transformed!

Yes, that’s it. That’s right.

That is to say, "one" accelerates the transformation of the whole.

Yes.

But that means the great surrender: "It’s like that, it’s like that...." Frightful. That’s why there are people who escape (even though it’s no use, because they’ll have to come back): it’s to get some rest! (Mother laughs)

It’s perfectly obvious that if it weren’t unbearable, it would never change. And if it’s unbearable, well... it really makes you feel like running away – which is impossible, of course, it’s foolish to think you can get out of it: it’s not possible. Only, for a time... you rest.