Chapter 7January 20, 1968

But one always seems to be boasting, that’s the trouble. No, in reality, one can SAY a thing like this, but writing and publishing it is quite another matter.

(Mother gives Satprem a soup packet she hasn’t even tasted.)

You don’t have the time to try it?

It’s no use.

There is something trying hard to stop me from eating. I don’t know.... I still eat out of... (what should I say?) common sense, the old common sense. Of course, the body is still working in the old way, so the old means have to be used, but... That’s all.

(Satprem prepares to leave Mother at the usual time, around 11:30.)

It’s going to be a hard month...

Oh!...

The days you come are the only ones in the week when I can eat at noon. The other days, I am so late that if I take my lunch, I can’t have a bath, so I skip lunch.11 So lunch is... But in reality, I am very happy.

No, a whole internal reorganization is going on.... We’ll see. We’re still in a period of transition.

A sort of mechanical fixity is probably going to disappear, that’s my belief; it’s the first thing that