Chapter 5March 15, 1967

when the little ones see something, their eyes open quite wide, so I give it to them. And I always wonder (laughing) what may happen with what's in the thing, what kind of circuit?!

(Mother holds Satprem's hands

in hers for a long time)

I make you all stride on very fast.

The roses are open now (Mother holds out a rose to Satprem), but this one has a magnificent color. Beautiful, isn't it?

This morning I had an amusing experience with roses. There was a closed bud – big, hard – big and hard, red. I took it, looked at it, then my fingers ran over the flower like that, and... (gesture showing the flower opening up), one petal after another and another and yet another – before my very eyes. And it was completely hard and closed. I took it and said, "A pity." I was about to put it back in water so it would open up, and while I looked... It was such a pretty sight, you know, opening up, happy, as if saying to me, "Oh, how happy I am!"

Flowers and I are on very friendly terms, I must say. Once in the past, I took flowers that had wilted – wilted flowers (that was when I was practicing occultism with Théon – it happened several times). One flower was quite drooping: I took it in my hand, looked at it, and slowly, little by little, it straightened up again and became quite smiling!

They are very, very receptive.

* * * Soon afterwards:

Quite amusingly, all the experiences that occur in the vital, the mind and above, are occurring in the material, in the cellular consciousness, and they are a reproduction, as it were, but with a slight alteration caused by Matter. When you stir water, for instance, when you agitate it, it's no longer transparent; there are eddies, and those eddies prevent the water from being transparent. You can no longer see through it. It's the same thing materially: when you are restless, when you don't have that sort of calm (which isn't stillness but the opposite of restlessness, I don't know how to describe it – it's something imperturbable)... Very few people have that, and when they come near, there are immediately (gesture of tremor and seething in the atmosphere) vibrations and disorder – and confusion settles in. You can see the phenomenon occur on a small scale with people coming here; you (excitement and restlessness): as soon as there is excitement and restlessness, it's impossible to see clearly; it's the same as with water, it goes like this (same gesture of tremor and seething), swarms of movements of confusion, and you can't see anything. It's the same thing materially. And then, as soon as a problem has to be solved (especially a material problem), people are in the habit of getting restless, and as soon as they get restless, it's absolutely impossible to find any solution. And it makes the confusion worse.

This is something I experience constantly, every minute. If I am in my normal atmosphere, however intense the action may be (or also the problem to be solved), the thing is clearly seen and the solution imposes itself as something absolute, irrevocable: this is how it must be done. The minute the restless atmosphere of someone else comes in (and as soon as a problem arises, not one in a thousand isn't restless, at least inwardly a little), it starts going like this (same gesture of tremor), and not only do you stop seeing, but things are no longer in their place! And as for the solution... you have to mend the disorder before you can think of the solution. It's an experience almost every moment. I see numbers of people; with some, as soon as they enter the atmosphere, along with them comes their confusion, and you can't see anything anymore – you have to wait a little, try and calm things down, and then you can see. With some it never calms down – it's hopeless, you can only send them back. With others, it calms down after a certain length of time, then you can start seeing and knowing what needs to be done.

But materially it results in something very interesting. When I am alone and everything is tranquil in my atmosphere, if at any time I take anything, any object, it's exactly in its place. And everything goes without a hitch. As soon as someone (anyone) is there, there is a little vibration (same gesture of tremor). With some people the vibration gets much worse – and I lose my things! I lose them almost irretrievably... until the atmosphere has calmed down again. Then the thing comes back quite naturally, almost as if it had gone away and come back – it didn't go away and come back: it was only confusion veiling everything. And I find the place again, the thing in its exact place. This goes on from morning to night (I can't say from night to morning because I go off into another region!). But it's constant. And so I feel I am living in constant confusion.

At times the going gets rather heavy. For instance, here in the morning, when there are three or four sources of confusion at the same time, it becomes acute. I have only one solution, that is to be alone somewhere or other and stay like this (gesture of withdrawal into absolute stillness), until order is restored everywhere. Then everything is in order again, the Lord's Presence is there again... it's always there, but it can express itself, manifest again – while it can't get through that [confusion]! So I stay still and all goes well. From there I can face fresh disorders coming in (provided they don't rush in too close on each other's heels!), but anyway, I can pull through. To tell the truth I always pull through, but there are disorders that shouldn't be, that are useless. I always feel like telling people, "Oh, I beg you, keep calm!..." But not the "calm" of apathetic quietude, not slumped in a corner and you don't move anymore (while anyway it keeps going like this inside [gesture of seething]), no: calm, quiet, like this (vast gesture) in the consciousness, then everything becomes limpid. And in that limpidity you see very clearly, decide very clearly, everything works out, things organize themselves, you don't even need to intervene.

All difficulties... I see that, I've seen it lately with regard to political organizations, relations between nations and all that, all the problems to be solved – it's all the same thing: people are like this (same gesture of tremor), all the time, all the time... one wave of restlessness, another wave of restlessness, yet another wave of restlessness coming on top of it – and you don't see anything anymore! You can't see anything anymore! While if one can keep calm for a while...