Chapter 3June 8, 1966

remember only when I think it necessary.

How are things? – They should be better.

Why?

Because I think ("I think" is a manner of speaking)... I told you the other day about that awesome force; well, I think it’s having some effect all the same.

It has changed something in the atmosphere, it’s not so oppressive, is it? I told you the difference in the position; well, it’s as if something had really been reversed. So it should have effect on everybody (?)

And I keep on writing endless pages! Yes, of your book. It’s quite new. (Besides, once I am awake I no longer concern myself with it at all.) I spend part of my night like that, not writing with my own hand but dictating. While I do it I find it enjoyable, but not enjoyable enough for me to remember what I wrote. Stories!... I appear to have much imagination. But when I read it, it gives me the impression of something I saw or lived.

(Regarding an old Talk of 19 April 1951 in which Mother said: "You seem to be on an inner hunt, you

go hunting for the dark little corners.... You offer the difficulty, whether it is in yourself or in others,

whatever the seat of its manifestation, to the Divine Consciousness, asking It to transform it.")

That’s precisely what I have been doing for two days! For the last two days I have spent all my time seeing all that... oh, an accumulation of heaps of sordid little things we constantly live in, sordid tiny little things. And then, there is only one way – only one way, always the same: to offer it.

This Supreme Consciousness almost seems to put you in contact with quite forgotten things that there’s a luminous joy in offering all that for it to be transformed, transfigured.

Now it has become the movement of even the cellular consciousness. All the weaknesses, all the response to adverse suggestions (I mean the tiny little things of every minute, in the cells), it sometimes comes in waves, to such a point that the body feels it’s going to buckle under the onslaught, and then... there’s such a warm, deep, sweet light, so powerful, which restores order everywhere, puts everything in its place and opens the road towards transformation.

These phases are very difficult times for the body’s life; you feel as if there only remains one thing that decides: the supreme Will. There’s no support left – no support; from the support of habit to the support of knowledge and the support of will, all the supports have disappeared: there is only the Supreme.

(silence)

The aspiration in the cellular consciousness to the perfect sincerity of the consecration.

And the lived experience – intensely lived – that only that absolute sincerity of the consecration allows existence.

The slightest pretense is an alliance with the forces of dissolution and death. So it’s like a chant in the cells – but they mustn’t even have the insincerity to watch themselves – the chant of the cells: "Your Will, Lord, Your Will..."

And the immense habit of depending on the will of others, the consciousness of others, the reactions of others (of others and of all things), that sort of universal playacting everyone does for everyone and everything does for everything must be replaced by a spontaneous, absolute sincerity of consecration.

It is obvious that that perfection in sincerity is possible only in the most material part of the consciousness.

That’s where you can be, exist, act without watching yourself be, without watching yourself exist, without watching yourself act, with perfect sincerity.

* * * Soon afterwards:

This Talk [of April 19, 1951] interests me immensely. It’s exactly the same focus as the present effort.

This constant correlation between the inner and the outer work is very interesting, like the preparation of this Bulletin,39 for instance.

I can clearly see that the initial cause always comes from outside ("outside" with regard to this body), in the sense that the focus of the effort depends on the state of health of the people around me, on a certain set of circumstances, and also on an intellectual work (like this Bulletin); those are the causes. Because here (gesture to the forehead), there’s really a tranquil and silent stillness. So there’s only what comes from outside.

And the body is increasingly conscious: it has a very acute perception of the vibrations coming