Chapter 6May 28, 1966

(Mother goes into contemplation,

And earth [shall] grow unexpectedly divine (I.IV.55)

It’s a consolation....

(silence)

You’ll see, there comes a point when you can tolerate yourself and life only if you take the attitude that the Lord is everything. See, that Lord, how many things He possesses: He plays with all that – He plays, He plays at... changing the positions. And then, when you see it, that whole, you feel the limitless marvel, and that whatever the object of the most marvelous aspiration, it’s all quite possible and will even be surpassed. Then you are consoled. Otherwise, this existence... is inconsolable. But that way, it becomes charming. One day, I will tell you.

When you have the sense of the unreality of life – the unreality of life – compared with a reality that’s certainly found beyond, but at the same time WITHIN life, then... ah, yes, THAT is true at last – THAT is true at last and deserves to be true. That is the realization of all possible splendors, all possible marvels, all, yes, all possible felicities, all possible beauties – that, yes, otherwise...

Do you understand?

That’s the point I have reached. So then, I feel as if I still have one foot here, one foot there, which isn’t a very pleasant situation because... because you would like there to remain nothing but That.

The present way of being is a past that really should no longer exist. While the other way, ah, at last! At last!... That’s why there is a world.

And everything remains just as concrete and just as real – it doesn’t become misty. It’s just as concrete, just as real, but... it becomes divine, because... because it IS the Divine. It’s the Divine playing.

There, mon petit.

(Mother takes her face in her hands and looks exhausted.)

Are YOU tired?

No, it’s worse than tired, it’s worse....

A whole work of adjustment is going on, which has become very, very difficult, very difficult (Mother makes a gesture of churning).

I am practically unable to eat any longer, I force myself, otherwise all I would do is drink. And it’s not caused by the stomach, it’s not that, it’s... (same gesture of churning).

I don’t feel tired, but I’ve had for a long time and increasingly (the last few days it has become very acute) the impression of walking forward, moving on (gesture in a precarious balance), and that the slightest false step would hurl me into the chasm. I seem to be on a ridge between two chasms.

And that’s something going on in the body’s cells. There’s nothing moral to it, nothing even to do with sensation.

One is compelled to constant vigilance. The slightest slackening, you know, is... catastrophic.

(long contemplation)

So I’ll see you on Thursday? Well, I hope it’ll be over and I’ll be out of it!

The consolation is that the Supreme’s action is growing increasingly clear and evident. You know, I am like a speck of... ([Mother makes a gesture in the hollow of a Hand] how can I explain it?...) of dust, but a dust that suffers, that’s the trouble. Very sensitive. But the play of forces is growing increasingly clear and powerful, and over an increasingly extensive field. And directly HERE [in matter], with extraordinary precision and force. It’s a consolation.

Let’s just not bother about it.