Chapter 2April 9, 1966

After having listened to the letters and reports read by the "secretaries":

What about keeping quiet a little [in meditation]?... It will do me good.

These people, I can’t exactly say they tire me, but the cells feel a sort of pressure of confusion that hurts them. It’s like being caught in a stranglehold of confusion, and it hurts. And every day it’s the same thing. I tell them – they don’t believe me. They think it’s blackmail! So then... I go through a very difficult little moment, very difficult. Afterwards, it gets better again.

(meditation)

* * *

(Later, Mother copies out a few lines from "Savitri" which she has just translated, and her hand

scratches out a word.)

Constantly, the whole time, thoroughly amusing little things happen. It was a small hand – a tiny hand – that took my hand for fun and wrote. Just for fun! So I have to be on my guard all the time!... It was someone who was laughing and laughing and laughing! It’s so living – so living, so teeming with things – and we don’t see anything. But I see. Previously I didn’t see, but now I see it all (Mother laughs). Oh, there would be so many things to tell if we had time, very funny things.

(About the book Satprem is writing, "The Sannyasin")

I still see that vision I had.31 Strangely, it was one of the most unexpected visions, in the sense that I