Chapter 3January 19, 1966

It’s good, very good. You were much closer than usual. Much closer, like something physically close.

The closeness was always up above (gesture above the head), in the broad lines, but here, it was a physical closeness and the sense that... well, that a certain type of resistance was going to end, was going to fall away. So I said to myself, "That’s very good, very necessary." If the "touring" hasn’t tired you too much, it’s all right; that was the only drawback... (how can I put it?) that I can’t say I "feared," because I don’t fear anything, but that I saw as being possible.

No, no! In a day or two, I’ll be fine.

That’s exactly what I wanted.

(Mother copies out in her thick white notebook a few lines from her translation of "Savitri.")

...Near my pen, there is a small disk of Sri Aurobindo’s light, which sparkles and sparkles.... I see it more than my handwriting. It’s no bigger than this (two inches) and it shines, it shines brightly – blue light, of the silvery blue that was Sri Aurobindo’s blue. It shines and shines, and it moves along with my fingers.10

And when I speak, when I say things that "come," there are two disks (I don’t know why). Not one, but two, and they are bigger (about four inches), one above the other. When I tell of an experience, for instance, or answer a question, there are two of them, slightly bigger.

And when I concentrate on someone while calling the Lord, then, generally, near the shoulder (gesture between the person’s head and shoulder), there is a great golden light, like that, which sparkles and sparkles, shines and shines, very brightly, all the while. And when the light goes, the concentration goes.

But just now, it was amusing, it was quite small like this, moving along with my pen. Now it’s finished, gone! (Mother laughs)