Chapter 5July 17, 1965

I understand, but it's a pity!

Later, later. Not now.

Because those questions of illness are so much part of this yoga.

Oh, I know that very well, I know, but not now: later.

People make too many personal stories out of what I say; you know, "the anecdote about the guru," as you read them in books.

They're silly!

Yes, but (laughing) what can you do? They're silly, that's not so easy to cure!

(Regarding the last conversation, in which Satprem complained about his bad nights.)

But I just can't understand why it's always that side that I remember, always the sewers, the filth.... Because all the same there must be another side, mustn't there?

(Mother laughs) The reason is simple: that side is very, very close to the ordinary consciousness, so you remember; the other... there isn't a sufficient "connection," so when you wake up, you forget.

That's the discouraging thing, besides, because one always remembers the bad side, not the rest!

Maybe it's to see if we don't lose heart. Just this morning...55

(silence)

That must be why: it's to see if we bear up – not even that: to see if our FAITH bears up.

(silence)

that point, this or that will manifest It; It goes like this (gesture of a massive, general pressure), It imposes itself on the earth-atmosphere, and what's capable of responding responds. And then, on the point that responds, the Force manifests.

It isn't the Force that selects the point (I don't know if I am making myself understood): it is a global action, and what's capable of responding responds.

As for us, we want It, we aspire for It, we even know, and naturally, because we know, we have a sort of conviction that we are cut out to respond.... But it's not a question of conviction: it has to be a fact.

And for that... well, we must bear up.

(silence)

On the contrary, I have the feeling that those who know more can do more, and more is asked of them – it isn't that they are asked less: they are asked more.

And this body still belongs almost entirely to the old creation. And its own tendency is to say, "Oh, that's not nice! We have goodwill, and the more goodwill we have, the more is demanded from us." But these are very human notions, very human.... The more goodwill we have, the more is asked of us – not because of some decision or other: spontaneously, quite naturally.

We speak of transformation, even of transfiguration, but there is the passage from the old movement to the new movement, from the old status to the new status, which is a break in equilibrium; and always, for what still belongs to the old creation, a dangerous break in equilibrium is what gives you the feeling that everything eludes you, that you have lost your foothold. And that's when you need unwavering faith. But a faith that isn't like mental faith, which is self-supporting: it is a faith in the sensation. And that (Mother shakes her head) is very difficult.

(silence)

It's always the same thing: the old system of solitude is relatively very easy: you lie down, cut off all connections, remain in deep contemplation, and wait for the crisis to be over. It lasts for a time, you don't know how long. But when you are like this, surrounded with people, work, responsibilities (not moral ones: material ones), with things that materially depend on you, then... you must find the way to go on, but without having anymore the support of the usual equilibrium.

It's a bit hard.

But it is clear that if we say, "I am here because of You and for You and at Your service," well, it has to be true, that's all.

* * *

(Satprem returns to the attack and asks Mother for her permission to publish some of these No.

Oh, but it's more than cuts!

We have to cut the whole lot? All right!

No, but you can take selected passages – if they are impersonal.

Yes, but if we take "selected passages" (it can be done), then it takes on a dogmatic character. It's like declarations. If we remove the occasion on which it was said, it becomes a dogmatic statement.

Yes, but I don't want to give it. That's categorical.

I quite understand. Only, the danger of those extracts is that it looks like a teaching: Mother decides "it's like this and like that" – whereas it's not "like that"!

Yes, yes! (Mother does not want to hear any more.)

* * * (A little later, Satprem proposes he could ask E. to buy magnetic tapes to record these conversations:)

Poor E.! Her husband has ruined her.

She nursed her husband, she even almost brought him back to life, and when he recovered speech and consciousness, the first thing he did was to cut off her means of subsistence and discredit her! To thank her, he spread the word that he was no longer responsible for her. Anyway, that's life for you.56 Would you like to read her letter?

(extract from E.'s letter, in the original English:)

"... I shall always remember, very vividly, the moment when Your Force took hold and created the rally that even the doctor couldn't understand, the rally that lasted so many weeks.

The patient had been in convulsion, the whole right side of the body twitching horribly, speech impossible. There came an easing of it all, and I remember thinking, Why is that brain signaling that body to twitch so – why? And I took hold of Monty's right hand, seated there, on the edge of his bed. And the two right arms became like a big telephone switchboard hook-up – you know, the long cords. So, through the hook-up I called. I called to the Divine Mother, to You specifically, if I may say so, as is my wont. And this time, the You appeared, not above my head, as is usual, but above the patient's head. And to that You I called three times, 'Mother,' as you once taught me to do. That was all. Nothing more complicated than that. You were there, strategically positioned and I pronounced your Name three times. But there was a great current of Force that went through that telephone hook-up, so to speak, a great Power that 56Mother had already spoken of this case in the conversation of 26 June 1965: the man who was cured of a cancer of the