Chapter 1July 3, 1965

After Satprem has read out the last "Comments on the Aphorisms":52 It was so boring that I felt sick.

(Satprem protests)

Anyway, it doesn't matter.

For me it's very different: things always appear old to me, they seem to belong to a faraway past. Especially these last few days.... This cold, for instance (Mother has a bad cold), I clearly saw why I caught it (outwardly the reason is very simple: the person who prepares my cards has a cold and I took the cold along with his cards), but why did I really catch it? Well, it corresponded to an arrowlike movement in the consciousness of the cells, and then, naturally, a lag: all that was refusing (refusing or unable – it rather gives a feeling of drowsy things that aren't too eager to make progress) is lagging behind, and naturally that manifests as a disorder.

Very well.

(About Mother's recent cold. After listening to the English translation of her last comments on the

"Aphorisms" brought to her by Nolini, Mother starts speaking in English:)

I don't know for others but for a very long time in life when there is an illness (some illness of any kind) automatically the cells forget everything, all their sadhana and everything, and it is only slowly when you get out of the illness that the cells begin to remember. And then, my ambition was (I remember that, it was long ago, many years ago), my ambition was that the cells should remember when being ill – which is absurd because it would have been better to aspire to have no illness! But for a time it was like that. The first time that the cells remembered, oh, I was very happy. But now, it is the opposite; that is, as soon as the disorder comes, the cells first... first they got a little anxious: "Oh, we