Chapter 7December 22, 1965

form. The external form is only one way of being of the SAME THING – because things are arranged in every possible way (there aren't two identical things and everything is arranged differently), so then, some follow similar twists, and that's what doctors call "such and such an illness." But if they are sincere, they will tell you, "There aren't two like illnesses."

But what toil it is!... I am fighting with that at the moment, it's a fistfight. How much time will it take? I don't know. What price will have to be paid? I don't know.... Yes, certainly, we can picture the end: when we have got the "hang," the deeper law or true power that governs those things, ah, then... we'll have the power to do something.

Until then, we have to hold out. Do you know what holding out is? It's being like this (immobile gesture in the Eternal). You are assailed by innumerable ideas, a general defeatism (same gesture) – be immobile in an ascending and progressive faith.

Oh, I remember, I said the other day that perfection is eternal and it's because of Matter's resistance that, on earth, perfection is progressive.

I have a lot of difficulties inwardly.... I don't know, I feel I am very inhuman, as if I were far, far, far away. And all human relationships tire me. I am far away.

That doesn't matter. Do you think it's necessary to feel human?

I don't know.... It's bad, isn't it?

It's not really necessary to feel human.

It's as if I were lending myself to a certain game, but it tires me more than anything. As if I were far away. So I am wondering if it's good or bad (!)

I think all the experiences that are sent to us are sent because they are necessary. I am convinced of this. And fortunately, my body too is convinced of this, because... If I looked at it from the ordinary point of view... it's rather wretched.

Everyone around me is ill, and... (gesture falling back on Mother). Fever, this, that... It's difficult, very difficult. I told you, it's very difficult.

Well, I am convinced – my body is convinced (fortunately it is itself convinced) that it's because it has to learn some things. We must learn. There is a lot to learn....

Here (Mother hands Satprem a flower called "Grace"). We must hold tight to it, like that, you