Chapter 5April 23, 1964

you would be utterly crushed. I keep my watch by Indian time, so that I always know where you are, although I never know what time it is in France! I have to make a complicated calculation and subtract four and a half hours: it's now 2:30 P.M. in our garden, therefore... 10 A.M. here, and I have an appointment. I will probably see Corréa46 tomorrow. My friend M. tells me that they definitely agree to publish the book, but they would like to "cut" certain passages!... So I will have to argue to try and keep my book more or less whole! What a world! I will write to Mother tomorrow, once I know what the publisher's demands are.

I have to see a doctor day after tomorrow... but no doctor can close the hole in my heart.

S.

(From Satprem to Sujata)

Paris ...People are miserable in the midst of their wealth, their faces are hard and closed, they are harassed.... There are fine beings, but all their energy is devoured by this devouring life – I will never come back here, I don't belong here, I've never belonged here! The best of their ideal is as aggressive as they themselves are – I like them, but they are thousands and thousands of miles away from any true truth, it will take them many centuries to broaden a little. At any rate, it is clear that no book, no word will be able to change that, another Power is needed. I will nonetheless write that Sannyasin, but afterwards nothing but tales or poetry.