Chapter 10January 29, 1961

Yes. While speaking, you see, I went back to the origin of sound (Sri Aurobindo describes it very clearly in Savitri: the origin of sound, the moment when what we called ‘the Word’ becomes a sound). So I had a kind of perception of the essential sound before it becomes a material sound. And I said, ‘When this essential sound becomes a material sound, it will give birth to the new expression which will express the supramental world.’ I had the experience itself at that moment, it came directly. I spoke in English and Sri Aurobindo was concretely, almost palpably, present.

Now it has gone away.

(silence)

Oh, another little example. You know those photos I distributed on the 21st for the Saraswati Puja) Amrita told me he was going to send them to X,29 I but I told him, ‘No, don’t bother.’ (The 21st was a terrible day for me. All the dasyus of the world were in league against me, trying to stop me – I understood this afterwards, when I saw those things.30 ‘So that’s what it is!’ I said to myself, ‘That’s what has been going on!’) Then after the night of the 24th, I went down for balcony-darshan31 with such a foursquare certainty – you know, cubic: such a cubic certainty – and I said to Amrita, ‘You can send him those photos today,’ without an explanation, without a word, with nothing but a feeling of certainty, a kind of definite and absolute THAT’S HOW IT IS.

And that is a change, truly a change.

My legs are tired....

(Mother looks at T’s questions on Sri Aurobindo’s Aphorisms.)

53 – The quarrels of religious sects are like the disputing of pots, which shall be alone allowed to hold the immortalizing nectar. Let them dispute, but the thing for us is to get at the nectar in whatever pot and attain immortality.

What is this nectar of immortality?

29The tantric guru.

30The Vedic or pre-Vedic experience of the artificial hurricane and the pink marble bathtub.

31Balcony-darshan: up to 1962, Mother appeared every morning on the first-floor balcony to be seen by the disciples physical consciousness but a transformation of physical substance as well. So....

* * *

(Concerning the last conversation where Mother spoke of the essential Sound, or the ‘Word’ of the

Vedic Rishis.)

I promised Nolini I would show him this.

Yes, Mother, this is a problem.... Often when you tell me things of such importance I feel I benefit from them quite egoistically – could they be shown to Pavitra now and then? Do you want them to be kept absolutely confidential, or may I show them to Pavitra occasionally?

It depends.... You can tell Sujata whatever you like.

I have never said anything. I never say a word.

You can tell her anything you like, it doesn’t matter – just tell her to keep it to herself.

But otherwise.... Some of the things you note down I just put away. But some I show to Nolini (of them all, Nolini is the one who can best understand). I give him certain things to read, but otherwise, no. It is completely different between us, as I told you – completely different. If you benefit from it, so much the better! If it helps you in your inner development, good, I have no objection – on the contrary. It’s quite natural, the natural consequence of our meetings.

But if while speaking with Sujata you feel that something might help her, I have no objection to your telling her – simply say that it’s between the two of you.

So far, I haven’t said anything. You know how I am: I keep quiet, I don’t say a word.

Oh, yes, that’s best. Because one must absolutely beware.... But as I said, with her I have no objection.

* * * A short while later:

It continues. Now they have begun attacking my legs – they always have to find something new!

Your legs are giving you trouble?

For a long time. It began in the middle of November. I saw the symbol of it only recently, 32 but the battle itself has been going on since mid-November.

(silence)