Chapter 22April 29, 1973

Why do I feel like howling?

Well, I wonder if it’s not me giving you pain.

No, mon petit! All the time I feel like that – it’s not you, not at all.

Something... It isn’t really painful, it’s just... I think – I think it’s something so new that the body is frightened. That’s the only explanation I see. I start howling, but... it’s no use – the only thing to do is stop howling and change.

Something which...

Yes, that must be it: something so new that the body doesn’t... know how to take it.

(silence)

You don’t perceive anything in particular?

No, Mother, what I feel is first that great Flame merging with yours, and then a kind of vast immobility – a powerful immobility.

Ah, that’s it! That must be why! Yes, the body must be getting alarmed. Yes, that must be it.

(Mother plunges in,

Champaklal rings the bell)

Is it time?... Oh, mon petit....

(Satprem rests his head on Mother’s knees)

(Mother sees Sujata. Sujata enters Mother’s room after sitting a long time outside, in front of Mother’s

door, engrossed in the English translation of the “Sannyasin.” Mother takes her hands.)

Your contact is most pleasant, my child, I can tell you that.

Most pleasant.