Chapter 27March 31, 1973

Excerpts from a meeting with the teachers.

(At the end of a long and distressing conversation that exposes the grudges of a particular individual

against her neighbor, then angry remarks, then finally a request for “blessings” for a new trucking company, with a photo of the truck on the back of which Mother is asked to write something, one of the teachers announces that an epidemic of chickenpox and mumps has broken out at the school among the students and teachers, and that one of them has typhoid fever. Mother listens to all that.... This will be

the last meeting with the teachers.)

I hope you’re not bringing any of that here?

(the teachers laugh, uncomprehending)

Have you taken all the necessary precautions?... Otherwise it would be a real catastrophe.

(silence)

I hope you took every precaution not to bring me any of it here?

(silence,

one of the teachers explains

that the incubation period lasts from 3 to 4 weeks)

If you haven’t, it’s really a crime (there is almost anguish in Mother’s voice), because.... There’s nothing to explain. It’s a crime. I am not AT ALL protected.

So, what would you like to tell me?

I can’t hear you. Are you asking how I am?...

Yes – you “can’t hear”!

But what does it mean? I can only be well when... there’s no I.

I have been asking myself a question.

Ah?

About that new consciousness. I can grasp (or guess) its contemplative or passive aspect, but not

so well its dynamic or active aspect. I don’t quite see how it ACTS – I understand the contemplative part, but how does it act?

I don’t know. I have no idea.

But do you act or are you simply in...?

Yes, I act. But what exactly do you mean?... Yes, I act!

For example, when you are inside, in an inner state....

But I act much better than when – I appear to be inside, but that’s not so. Everybody makes the same mistake.

Yes, but I fully understand.

When I am concentrated in that way, it’s not that I am inside, I am in another kind of consciousness.

And it’s vast, vast, vast, vast – vast.

Yes, but it’s the active side of that consciousness that I don’t....

But it doesn’t have any side! It’s a consciousness (gesture of pressure from above).... It has no side, it isn’t passive or active – it’s a consciousness... (same gesture of pressure) a consciousness pressing on the world.

(silence)

You see, you’re trying to translate it mentally, which is impossible – impossible. You have to enter that consciousness... then only will you know what it is. There’s no active or passive, no inside or outside – all that is replaced by something else... which I can’t describe.... There are no words for it.

But for instance, personally, whenever I try to go there, into that consciousness, my main

impression is of nonexistence.

Ah, no!

No....

It’s wide, it’s vast, but there’s no more person, no more individual.

No. That’s not it.... For me, all that is the past... (silence). Yes, I quite understand what you mean....

(Mother plunges in)