Chapter 8November 25, 1972

Absurd, an absurdity!

That I can understand very well: this whole physical world is absurd. Without a doubt.

And even the people!...

Yes!

...whom you thought were wise, or people who have known you for so many years – their reactions seem SO absurd!

So... (Mother opens her hands) let Your Will be done.

Naturally the body understands very well (it never doubts that His Will will be done: it is ALWAYS done), but let us be... let us not be an obstacle to that Will or a complication: let us allow things to be done luminously and peacefully – consciously, luminously, peacefully... all-encompassingly.

Let us not be part of the obstacles. Let us be... (Mother opens her hands) let the supreme Wisdom pass, pass through... something that is not an extra obstacle. That’s all.

(Mother plunges in)

(The day before, Mother came out on her balcony for the November “darshan.”)

How was it yesterday, on the balcony?

(Mother returns the question) How was it?

I don’t know.... Seemingly quite good, in any case!

Where were you?

At the door of Sujata’s house, downstairs. And for you, how was it?

(long silence)

I don’t know.... It’s difficult.

Yes.

A growing sensation that without the Divine there’s no existence.

Forgetting the Divine even for a minute is becoming catastrophic, you see.

Now and then, for a few seconds, the true beatific consciousness comes – but only now and then and for a few seconds. That’s all. Otherwise, I am like this (gesture, fists clenched to stand firm in the struggle).

(silence)

And you?

I have a lot of difficulties with my outer consciousness. I seem to be unable to open it up.

(Mother vigorously nods her head)

And so it’s very painful, you know, everything is very painful.

That’s it, exactly that! One quite feels the inability of the outer consciousness to participate in the experience... to be up to the mark.

Yes! Exactly, absolutely.

Well, that’s my continuous condition.

How to...? And then once a day – once, twice, for a few seconds (tone of amazed wonder): “Oh!...” And it’s gone.

Is this... this body to be left and another one built? I don’t know.... It doesn’t fit with.... I have not been told that it has to be that way.

No. Although I haven’t been told either that this body is capable of transformation. So I don’t know.

But Sri Aurobindo did tell you that you would do the work.

(In a dubious tone:) Yes, he told me....

Because if you left, what would we do here? Truly, we are completely useless, there’s nothing else to do but leave. Because the only place....

But it has no desire to leave.

Yes, I know, Mother.