Chapter 2November 4, 1972

The whole subconscient is... (gesture of something rising up en masse).

(silence)

And then... how can I put this?... It isn’t sensation or knowledge, it’s a kind of... (Mother feels the air between her fingers), you can’t even say conviction: it’s a certitude – a certitude in the perception – that Bliss is there... right there, WAITING FOR us, but a whole world of contradictions that have been repressed in the subconscient keeps rising up from the subconscient to prevent us from feeling it. So... you could say it’s a battlefield, but in a perfect calm.

It’s impossible to describe.

Impossible to describe. When I remain still and enter that Consciousness, time flies with fantastic speed, in a kind of... luminous calm. But the slightest thing that pulls me out of it seems to pull me into hell. Exactly.

The discomfort is so great one feels one couldn’t last a minute or a few minutes like that. So one... one calls the Divine.... You feel like curling up in the Divine.

And then it goes well.

(Mother plunges in

but after a while she seems ill at ease)

For a moment – just a few seconds – I had the supramental consciousness. It was so marvelous, mon petit!... I understood that if we were to taste that now, we would no longer want to exist differently. We are in the process of... (gesture of kneading dough) of changing laboriously. And the change, the process of change seems.... Yet you can grasp it in a kind of indifference (I don’t know how to express it).

But it doesn’t last long. As a rule it’s... laborious. But that consciousness is so marvelous, you know!

It’s most interesting because there’s a sort of EXTREME activity within complete peace. But it lasted only a few seconds.

(silence

hands turned upwards)

And you?