Chapter 8January 22, 1972

died. He had sensed it.

(silence)

But he did speak of a transformation preceding the appearance of the first supramental being. That’s what he had told me. He told me that his body wasn’t capable of withstanding the transformation, that mine was more capable – he says it there too.

But it’s difficult. As I told you the other day. Especially, especially for food... it’s become a real labor.

(Two days earlier, as Pranab was leaving Mother’s room late, he had remarked to Sujata, “Usual

trouble. Heart, giddiness.”)

The work is going on with increasing clarity. But it’s difficult.... On its own, the physical is terribly pessimistic. It is steeped in atavistic habits of helplessness, contradiction, and also catastrophe – it is terribly pessimistic. What a work it is.... Only gradually, by constantly turning to the Divine, can it start to hope things will improve a little.

Can’t eat, you know, not a morsel.... This physical world is terrible, terrible, terrible.

It’s the mind and vital that make it bearable and permit us to go on, but once they’re gone – awful!

(silence)

Yesterday was detestable all day; this morning it started to get a little better... but then I don’t know how things work out, I don’t understand.... The body feels it has lost all control over time.15

(Mother plunges in)

14March 30, 1935. (Question:) Sri Aurobindo is bound to be wholly supramental and is being supramentalised in parts. If that is true – and it is – well, he can't die till he is supramental – and once he is so he is immortal. (Answer:) “It looks very much like a non-sequitur. The first part and the last are all right – but the link is fragile. How do you know I won't take a fancy to die in between as a joke?” (Question:) Some people say that yourself and the Mother would have been supramentalised long ago if only we had not kept you down. Is it really true? (Answer:) “I can't say there is no truth in it.” (Cf. Bulletin, August 1975.)