Chapter 6January 15, 1972

So obviously, when there’s nothing but words on paper, a whole depth is gone.

Yes, exactly, gone.... And unfortunately, it doesn’t always come back.

Well, too bad.

(silence)

I remember, the experience is still very vivid. As I told you, T.J. has a very childish consciousness, so I said to her: you see, it’s as if the Whole (not the Divine separate from the creation: the Whole) projected itself on a screen in order to see itself. Therefore it’s infinite, it’s “forever” – it’s never the same and it never ends. It’s like a projection to visualize the details and be conscious of oneself in another way.11 The metaphor is quite childlike, of course, but very evocative – that’s how I saw it then. Exactly the impression of an infinite Whole projecting itself endlessly.

(Mother remains absorbed a long time)

For instance, the memory mechanism is gone, but I feel it’s on purpose. My vision of things would be much less spontaneous and sincere (possibly) if I remembered.

Yes, I get it.

Things always come as a new revelation – and not in the same manner.

That’s it – you BECOME the thing, you become it. You don’t “see” it; it’s not something you see or understand or know, it’s... something you ARE.

When I had that experience of the world, it was the experience itself, conscious of itself. It wasn’t something I “knew,” it was something that WAS.

But language, words are inadequate.

(Mother gives Satprem her latest notes.)

11Mother later added the following clarification to her note: “No two consciousnesses are alike among human beings in time and space. The total sum of all these consciousnesses is a partial and diminished manifestation of the Divine Consciousness. That is why I said 'progressive perfection,' because the manifestation of the consciousness of details is

Put yourself at the service of Truth, and you will know the Truth.

* * *

Is it possible to develop in oneself a capacity for healing?

By consciously uniting with the Divine Force, all is possible in principle. But a procedure

has to be found, depending on the case and the individual.

The first condition is to have a physical nature that gives energy rather than draws energy

from others.

The second indispensable condition is to know how to draw energy from above, from the

one impersonal and inexhaustible source.

* * *

Sincerity, humility, perseverance and an insatiable thirst for progress are essential for a

happy and fruitful life, and above all, to be convinced that the possibility of progress is limitless. Progress is youth; one can be young at a hundred years.

* * *

I would like to ask you about a physical problem.

Ah?

Whether or not I should have an operation.

An operation for what?

My whole right leg is in bad condition – all the veins are sclerotic.

Oh!

It’s the result of an operation I had five years ago. I was operated on at the hospital here five or

(Mother laughs)

And for five or six days I was fed intravenously...

Oh, they ruined your veins!

Yes, completely! And it has kept getting worse ever since.

One possibility is to wear a bandage, but Dr. Sanyal says the bandage won’t help much; it won’t stop the veins from deteriorating.... But it’s quite a radical operation, you know: they open up the leg all the way from top to bottom and rip out your veins.

And?

And they leave you only with the main vein. All the others are ripped out.

Oh, but then they may immobilize your leg!... With bandages, at least you can walk. Personally, I would choose the bandage, I am not in favor of these....

Yes, it’s pretty radical.

But if you could – if you could call the Force.

Take the bandage. I myself have been wearing one for months. Put the bandage on and then concentrate. When you go to sleep and before you get up in the morning concentrate and call the Force on it. I am confident that this is a much better solution – much better.

Yes, Mother.

Personally I am not in favor of those things.

No, don’t do it.

I’d rather avoid it if I can!

Absolutely. It’s better even to limp a little than....

And if you concentrate the Force.... Just offer your leg to the Divine, morning and evening! (Laughing) I have more confidence in that method!

Yes, Mother.... There are so many obstinate obscurities in me. One offers them, of course, but they just don’t budge.

Yes, but you can do what I just told you.

(Sujata:) Mother, he is always so depressed. He always says he has many obscurities. But I feel that even our obscurities are part of our nature, we have been made that way by the Divine, so it’s up to Him to change us, no, Mother?

(Mother laughs) Yes, but you must want to change.

(Sujata:) Yes, of course, Mother, we want to. But why get all upset when it’s not changed immediately?

What I am telling him is to want it – to want it morning and evening. When you’re in bed, concentrate for a moment (laughing), with as much faith as possible!

(Satprem, coughing:) Yes, Mother.

You’re coughing?

I don’t know, some dust caught in my throat.

The obscurity is going out!

If it were only true....

(Mother laughs) It is going out!

I have a feeling the problem of my leg is quite symbolic.

Yes, yes.

There are two beings in me.

Yes.

Besides, I see the “other one” more and more distinctly. And I find it has a totally self-contained and independent existence....

Aah!...

Nothing seems to have any influence over it.

(silence)

We really have two beings in us.

Yes, I have noticed that. I noticed. But that doesn’t matter. It makes things a little more difficult, that’s all.

(silence)

I don’t know what could have power over that being.... What could sway it.

(silence)

Well, that’s the reason. That’s what I meant – offer that being to the Divine. You who know (the part of you that knows), offer it, just offer it.... Never mind if it protests, don’t pay any attention – offer it OB- STI-NATELY to the Divine, morning and evening, morning and evening... using your leg as a symbol. And we will see.

We will see.

As you say, Mother.

That’s the only way.

The Divine knows.

Yes.

He knows what to do.

You just give it to Him, you understand. Even if it protests, even if it is skeptical, it doesn’t matter at all, you give it anyway – you follow?

(silence)

In fact – in fact, there’s a BIG change.

??!!

A big change. But these are its last attempts to remain what it is. So it goes all out-you just have to outdo it, to put a special pressure. And the only way to do that is: “Here, take it.” Give that being, give it to the Divine! Tell Him, “Here, I give it to you (laughing), I don’t want it anymore, take it!” Just like that.

But you do find there’s a change?

YES – yes, oh, yes! There’s a big change! A big change. Only, the resistance has sort of (Mother clenches her fist) crystallized a little to resist, so it’s become more evident. That’s all. You have to be more obstinate. More obstinate. I tell you, just offer that being; you are conscious of it, you offer it to the Divine morning and evening: “Do whatever You want with it, do whatever You want....” You understand? Using your leg as a practical reference.

Yes, Mother.

(concentration)

* * * (A little later, Satprem reads to Mother some passages from the “Agenda” for the next “Bulletin,” in particular the conversation of December 18, 1971, in which she said, “At each minute you feel you can

either live eternally or die.”)

That experience is more and more constant. It’s become very.... Sometimes it’s for one thing, sometimes for another (the practical things of life like eating, walking, etc.). It has become very intense. But at the same time, there’s the knowledge (Mother raises her forefinger): “Now is the time to win the Victory.” Which comes from the psychic, from above. “Hold on... hold on, now is the time to win the Victory.”

Quite interesting really. I am experiencing a pain (physical pain), which becomes almost insurmountable and suddenly... something happens... the offering, the offering of oneself... the sense that the Divine alone exists. Well... the pain disappears almost miraculously.

But it can return the next second. It’s not yet.... My body is in the middle of living the process. It’s only when I am immobile, in a sort of cellular contemplation... then – then it’s magnificent. Time vanishes, everything... everything is changed into something else.

(silence)

When the body became conscious of what was happening, its prayer, the prayer of the body was: “Let me know when the time for dissolution comes, if dissolution is necessary, so that everything in me will accept the dissolution, but only in that case.” Well.... Oh, it’s so strange, the states of consciousness are strong, limpid, precise, but they can’t express themselves. There are no words.

One day it’s one thing, another day another thing.

(silence)

So, no operation.

Yes, Mother.

Offer, offer your leg to the Divine, day and night! (Mother laughs.)

(Satprem rests his head on Mother’s knees)

You should be able to cure it.