Chapter 1September 1, 1971

(Concerning the years 1946-1948, when Satprem first came to Pondicherry to join the government of

French India with Governor Baron.)

An image has remained with me which I can’t forget. There was a new governor, the one who succeeded Baron [in 1949], and I had gone to see him with Pavitra, and on my way out, in the salon or on the veranda, I don’t remember, or the balcony, you were sitting there – don’t you remember?

No, Mother.

You were two or three – you were sitting there. You were still here, you hadn’t yet left [Pondicherry]. And that has remained with me – even now. How long ago was it?

Twenty... -five years ago.

It has remained clear-clear, so clear: I see you sitting there, like that, with your back to the light (the sky was behind you). And I don’t know why, but that struck me very much, I’ve retained the memory of it. Even now I can see the same image. It’s strange.... We had come to see those people (that really didn’t interest me, but...), but then, when I saw you: “Ah!” It was like... you know, like something saying to me (Mother lowers her index finger): “That one.” You understand?

And it has remained with me ever since. There are so many, so many things I’ve completely forgotten, but that remains. You don’t remember?

No, Mother.... I have other memories of you at that time, but not that one.85 It’s strange. Even now I see it, you know. There was the sky, it was like.... You were sitting on a stool or a kind of bench, there were one or two people (I don’t know) with you, but I didn’t notice them, whereas you, I saw you like this (Mother lowers a finger), like...: “That one.”

It’s strange. It’s interesting.

I am glad you saw me!

(Mother laughs and takes Satprem’s hands)

It was like this: (Mother makes a gesture of grasping Satprem’s wrist).

(silence)

85Actually, Satprem well remembered that encounter, but he wanted to spare Mother the account of his own state of mind that day, for he was angry with Mother (!) because she was paying a visit to the man who had schemed to take Governor