Chapter 3June 25, 1969

Pavitra has remained wholly conscious, independent. For instance, when I was read this very letter of the Raymonds, it was Pavitra who listened!

And who had all the reactions.... It’s very interesting. It’s something quite unexpected.... There are times when I feel a slight inner duality, that is, for example, two reactions to one thing! It’s quite funny.

He had an extraordinary goodwill! I realize he really had goodwill, and a sort of modest endurance – never a sense of wanting to pull things to himself....

(Laughing) I know him better now!

(For some time Mother’s health has been very upset. Most of her recent meetings with Satprem were

spent in silent contemplation.)

...Then there is little S.U. (do you know S.U.?), who isn’t too happy with her work and asked me if I couldn’t help her make some progress. So I told her, “Read Satprem’s book....” She started reading Satprem’s book. She told me “If I don’t understand something, what do I do?” I said, “If you can’t understand, ask me.” So yesterday, she quoted a bit of a sentence to me (you know how they do: they take a bit of a sentence and ask you, “Whatever does this mean?!”). I answered. It was a sentence in which it was said that there were two “positions”: the materialist and the spiritualist; then you mention me, saying we should take another position, a “third position.” She didn’t understand (Mother gives Satprem the child’s letter).89

My answer is prompt. But I felt like saying to her, “Another time, what if you went and asked Satprem?”

It wouldn’t have the same effect!

No, but you could explain better! (Mother laughs)

Ah, no!

You can keep this if it amuses you... my comments on your book! (Mother gives her reply)

89“I like Satprem’s book which You gave me. But I have two difficulties. The first is with the words. There are some words whose meaning I do not know. And the second is that some passages are not clear. Here is one: ‘What we may call with Mother a third position, a ‘something else’ we tenaciously need, we who are neither narrow materialists nor exclusive

“Sri Aurobindo is neither a materialist nor a spiritualist. He admits both, but wants a matter

transformed, divinized by the spirit, capable of expressing the truth instead of constantly denying it.”

That’s all. So what are you bringing?

I wanted to mention something (I couldn’t tell you about it last time), but I have been solicited by

Paolo,90 who is preparing a documentary on the Ashram for television. He asked to take photos of me, a film, and so on. First I said, “I’ll talk about it with Mother.” But as it wasn’t possible lately, yesterday he finally came down on me with his camera, and I let him.

He’s nice, Paolo, very nice!

Yes, but still, showing myself off...

Oh, mon petit, and what about me!

Ah, but with you it’s different!

Excuse me! It’s still worse! (Mother laughs) You understand, this body has a sense of the ridiculous, so it says, “Here, I’m being shown off when I have very little to do (not to say nothing) in this affair.” We can’t pull them out of their... extreme individualism. What can you do?!

Well, I am mentioning the fact. And then he has asked me to write something: a “manifesto for the

youth,” which would serve as a backdrop to that whole documentary. That’s more important.

That’s useful. But it’ll give you work.

It has to be brief, but it has to have force and simplicity.

Yes... that’s more interesting.

You aren’t tired?

No, no, Mother!

(Mother runs her hand

over Satprem’s forehead)

Then it’s all right. He’s nice, Paolo, he’s generous. We have to help him.

Now here’s something else (Mother takes a file out of a pile of letters and various other things). I receive this notebook every two days. Let’s see if there’s something interesting....

(Mother reads)

Very easy to answer (Mother writes):

“Undeniably. For everyone: to prepare oneself for this transformation. For a few: to begin the work of transformation. “For a very small number: to hasten the process of transformation.”

(Mother turns towards Satprem)

Isn’t the thought clear?

Oh, yes, it is!

(Mother laughs) I see him every day for a minute or two. He asked me, “Is it possible to have a new birth every day?” I said, “It’s possible... if one is capable of it!”

So we’ll see his reaction (Mother seems very amused).

(silence)

But you know, this little S.U. (I’ve never said this; I forget when it was – years ago, she was big as a boot), when your famous Sannyasin91 came here, he wanted to do a worship to the Mother,92 and he did one thing... which isn’t regarded as very charitable (that individual had a certain capacity): he put into this child an emanation of a higher spirit (which he thought was an emanation of the Mother), he carried out the ceremony, and afterwards (it was infinitely too powerful for the child), he came to me and told me, “I’ll send her to you for you to take out the emanation, we can’t keep that!”

So he sent me the child. And I saw that he had put something into her (which was fine, by the way; it wasn’t at all a bad thing, it was fine), and for several days, I did the work to see what could be adapted without upsetting the child’s consciousness too much, and to drive out what was too strong.... The work was interesting, and I did it successfully, so it gave the little girl a sort of trust in me (naturally I didn’t say anything to her, no one has ever said anything to her), but it gave her a rather exceptional trust (she was very small, a tiny thing). Since then, for that reason, I have taken interest in this child. Because there really is an aspiration in her – it has created an aspiration in her being. And that’s why I decided to help her, and why I’ve told you about it.... She had some stuff (he was rather sensitive, your Sannyasin, he felt she was receptive). If he had asked me before, I would have told him, “For heaven’s sake don’t do that, it’s not something to be done!” – He might have upset the child’s whole life. But at the time, he had some semblance of trust in me: he came to me and said, “Now this should be taken out” (Mother laughs)

But the child knows nothing, she mustn’t know. It seems that among those Sannyasins and others, it’s often done... but it’s dangerous.

91The Sannyasin who initiated Satprem.

92Mother is referring to a special puja or Tantric ritual (kumari puja) during which the officiant brings down certain forces What news do you have? Nothing?

Working at a hastened pace. The body... doesn’t complain. It doesn’t complain because... There are two things at the same time. It has increasingly and in an increasingly precise way the full perception of its... to use the exact word, its nothingness (that goes without saying, and without even a shadow of regret, because there’s the full awareness that it can’t be otherwise; in the present state of matter, it can’t be otherwise).... There’s an interesting process of development through which the body sees IN DETAIL – in detail, in every detail – how the Force of Consciousness acts, and what... to put things simply, what we turn it into. It’s very interesting. For everything, you know, the details of every minute: how the Force of Consciousness acts, and... what we turn it into. With, from time to time, a marvelous key for certain problems, and a chance given to apply the key to see how it works – it works admirably!

But all that... you understand, it’s like a few drops in an ocean of work. That’s how it is. The work is terrestrial, of course-more and more terrestrial, even the body has a connection with the whole – and therefore rather tremendous. But the sense of limitlessness in regard to the Force (not only the Consciousness, but the Force), the sense of limitlessness is becoming more and more permanent. The scale of the work in proportion with the form [Mother’s body] is very perceptible, and perceptible in a very keen way, but there is the sense of the inanity of this form – not even its relative character: almost its inexistence, something like the sense of... a continuing illusion. And then, quite concretely, the wonderful allpowerfulness of the Consciousness-Force; that comes with the impression that so-called “miracles” are nothing at all, a natural working. But you understand, the work has the proportion of the Consciousness, and it has to be done on... (laughing) on the scale of the body. So that gives a sort of perception of an immensity that has to worked out on one point.... I can’t express it, it’s something inexpressible with words.... But I need to have some peace.

And above all, above all, the chatter of words... For instance, it has become very hard for me to read a letter: there are always at least a hundred times too many words. And it’s easy to see it’s in the head that it goes like this (gesture of a jumble). But then, here (gesture to the forehead), it has remained marvel-ous-ly tranquil and calm and white and... oh, that’s really a Grace. It has remained like that. So all those things that come and try to enter – there’s no response, they are kept at a distance. And then, the Solicitude, the Care taken to make the thing as easy as we permit it to be – it’s wonderful! Wonderful... Naturally, from time to time, one is crushed under the weight of stupidity, but behind, there is nevertheless a benevolent Goodness, smiling and so TREMENDOUS that... nothing matters, no worry There. So...

The body has the sensation of hanging between two states: one which people call life, and the other which people call death. The body feels it’s hanging between the two: neither alive nor... (laughing) dead, like that, neither one nor the other. It’s between the two. And that’s very odd. Very odd. There is an impression (not an impression, it’s a perception) that the slightest disorder (gesture of tipping over to the left) would be enough to fling it to the other side, and that this very slight movement “this way” (gesture of tipping over to the right, into “life”) is made impossible by something one doesn’t understand. And it takes very little to...

One just has to keep very still. That’s the body’s impression: just be very still, always very still, even when things begin to grate with all that comes from outside, all the circumstances – the laggard cells go like this (gesture of grating), ill-adjusted, and one is on the very edge... on the very edge of tipping over: the only thing to do is to stay very still... and then it passes (immense, even gesture)... wonderful! Something like... I