Chapter 55November 5, 1960

(soon afterwards, when leaving)

Is that all? You have nothing to tell me, nothing to ask?

I’m counting above all on your force to put my body back in order.

Yes, of course! But to be put back in order, it must become a bit stronger. The more fragile you are, the more it breaks down.

All I know is that HERE you must be very careful not to weaken the body’s resistance (I don’t just mean in India, but here in the Ashram). Here, it’s important – the base must be solid, for otherwise it’s difficult. The more the Force descends – as it has just now descended – the more the body must be ... rather square. It’s important.

I’ve tried everything, you know, from complete fasting to a meat diet – everything, everything. Well, I noticed that you can have pleasant experiences while fasting, but it’s not good, it shouldn’t be done – these are all old ideas. No, the body must be solid, solid ... otherwise ...

(Mother gives the disciple a carnation, named by her ‘Collaboration’)

So, I won’t see you again? ... No, too many people come in the afternoon, it’s not pleasant ...

These things from the past ... it’s rather odd – now, once they come and I’ve spoken of them, they get erased. As if they were returning one last time to say goodbye before going for good.

All these ‘memories’ (actually they’re rather pictures) seem to be coming forward to show themselves with all the knowledge, truth and HELP they represent; they come to say, ‘There! You see, this is the origin of that’ – a whole curve. Then once I’ve seen it, it’s gone.

One day, as an experiment, I tried to remember something from the past, for I was interested in what it contained; I tried – impossible! It had been cleaned out, it was gone. So I understood that these things come, they show themselves (you have to be ATTENTIVE and know what purpose they have served) and then they go away.

of something (the people around me have lived with me, so they’ve seen things and remember them), I get the feeling that they are speaking of someone or something else – it no longer has any connection with me at all. And it’s the same with everything, whether near or far, which has brought to my consciousness whatever it had to bring, lost its utility and – disappeared. Only, these memories probably still have some utility for the others, so they remain. But for me it’s completely erased, absolutely, as if it had never been.