Chapter 19April 20, 1960

Fraternally,

Signed: Satprem

(Pavitra’s reply)

4.16.60 Satprem, ‘It is quite possible that this is their original intention, I am aware of it. But they are wrong if they think it will turn out like that ... We shall see!’

Love,

Signed: Pavitra

(Letter to Mother from Satprem)

Rameswaram, April 20, 1960 Sweet Mother, ... ... ... ... station in miniature (and not as nice) with little pastries in garish yellow cement. Cement everywhere – they even cemented the patio and uprooted the beautiful tree that was there. O Mother, it’s vandalism, it’s barbaric! You cannot imagine! Really, M has committed a terrible sin.

To compensate for that, however, I had the joy of finding your two letters. Yes, for some time I have been feeling your physical Presence more clearly. But then, why am I so blocked, where is the flaw? It constantly feels as though I am living at the outskirts of myself, or more precisely in a miniscule region of myself, and I’m unable to be conscious of the rest – a perpetual amnesic. It is unpleasant and quite stupid. What is it that will explode this shell?

Your child, full of gratitude and love.

Signed: Satprem