Chapter 17April 13, 1960

don’t clearly see the meaning of this trip. Just before I left, I received word from the publisher in Paris that ‘my’ book will come out in September.

There are moments when I feel you so close to me – could you not help me be more conscious of your presence (not as an impersonal force, but you)?

With all my love, I am at your feet.

Signed: Satprem Things are better physically. But it’s always a terrible physical shock for me to take the train.

(Mother’s reply)

4.12.60 My dear little one, Your good letter of the 7th has arrived. This inner fusion you speak of as a truth to be realized is already accomplished, absolutely perceptible to me. For long I have felt you as an integral part of my being; it seems to me that only some surface eddies prevent you also from feeling and living it.

But I am convinced it will come. Meanwhile, I am trying to make you feel my presence not as an ‘impersonal force’ but as a real and concrete presence, and I am happy to have succeeded in part.

... ... ... ...

Send me news of yourself, for I am always happy to hear from you.

Signed: Mother As regards L’Orpailleur, it’s good. I keep feeling that everything is going to turn out well.

(Letter to Mother from Satprem)

Hyderabad, April 13, 1960