Chapter 90July 5, 1958

has not concluded that I am totally mad, it is because he has an immense respect for me! But as always in these cases, there is such a joy in me, such an exultation: all the cells are dancing. I understand why people begin singing, dancing, etc. It takes a formidable power to remain like that (gesture of solidity): there is such a desire in the throat to sing!

* * * S brought me a photograph (taken on 2.21.58 during the Darshan). A saint with a halo! (Mother laughs mockingly.)

The eyes are nice. Yes, I remember. It was towards the end of the Darshan and I was repeating within me, ‘Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord ...’ But wordlessly. It came like that (gesture) and went far, far, far, far! It is all here (motion around the head). And that (Mother points to her chin) is determination (but there should have been a little more light on the chin!), the realizing will.

That’s it: the capacity to be an ABSOLUTELY receptive passivity – like that – in TOTAL silence and surrender, and at the same time here, there, an IRREDUCIBLE, OMNIPOTENT will with a total power to effectuate, shattering all resistances. Both simultaneously without one inhibiting the other, in the same joy – that is the GREAT secret! The harmonization of opposites, in joy and plenitude, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, for all problems: that is the great secret.

This morning I asked myself the question, ‘is money truly under Nature’s control?’ I shall have to