Chapter 62The Mother in Visions, Dreams and Experiences · Seeing the Mother in Visions and Dreams

Many see light around the Mother. The light is there always.

26 July 1933

* Today as soon as the Mother took her seat in the Pranam Hall I saw that white light was playing both on her left and right sides. Was there any particular reason why I saw like this?

No. One can always see white Light around the Mother, for it is her light, always there.

8 August 1933

* This evening when the Mother came to give us darshan, I saw Sri Aurobindo’s light around her like a cloud. Was this a formation of the mind or the vital? Was there a mistake in it?

If seeing the Mother’s Light is a mistake or a mental or vital formation, then the realisation of the Divine and all spiritual experience can be questioned as a mental or vital formation or mistake and all Yoga becomes impossible.

6 September 1933

* While watching the Mother walk on the terrace, I saw a light like moonlight around her. How strong and bright it was. Seeing it, my being became quiet and gradually settled into a deep indrawn condition.

People see all kinds of lights around the Mother when she walks on the roof. They are all the flowing out of different forces. If it was like the moonlight in appearance it would be the spiritual force.

1 November 1933

* What people see around the Mother is first her aura, as it is called nowadays, and secondly the forces of Light that pour out from her when she concentrates, as she always does on the roof for instance. (Everybody has an aura — but in most it is weak and not very luminous, in the Mother’s aura there is the full play of lights and powers.) People do not see it usually because it is a subtle physical and not a gross material phenomenon. They can see only on two conditions, first if they develop sufficient subtle sight, secondly if the aura itself begins to become so strong that it affects the sheath of gross matter which conceals it. The Mother has certainly no idea of making people see it — it is of themselves that one after another, some 20 or 30 in the Asram, I believe, have come to see. None of them are big Yogis, some of them are mere beginners. It is certainly one of the signs that the higher Force (call it supramental or not) is beginning to influence Matter.

15 November 1933

* Some people see light etc. around the Mother but I am not able to do so. What is the obstruction in me?

It is not an obstruction — it is simply a question of the growth of the inner senses. It has no indispensable connection with spiritual progress. There are some very far on the path who have very little of this kind of vision if any — on the other hand sometimes it develops enormously in mere beginners who have as yet had only very elementary spiritual experiences.

1 December 1933

* X says that she sees white light streaming out from the Mother when she sees her walking on the terrace. And some days, when the Mother is meditating, she sees some figure behind her.

There is always light around the Mother which the eyes can see if the inner vision opens. There are also many beings that are around her.

4 September 1934

Dreams and Experiences Recently I notice that before the Mother comes down from the terrace in the evening she stands there for a long time. I feel that at that time she gives us something specially, so I concentrate to receive and feel what she gives. But this evening suddenly I saw (while looking at her) that her physical body disappeared — there was no sign of her body, as if she were not there! Then after a few seconds her figure reappeared. I felt at that moment that she mixed with the ether and became one with all things. Why did I see like this?

movement is over. Yesterday she passed for some time beyond the sense of the body and it is perhaps this that made you see in that way.

29 August 1932

* standing in a high place; before her there is a pillar with the Tulsi plant on it. What does it signify?

That she has brought down and planted Bhakti, I suppose.

Today while meditating in the Pranam hall before the Mother came down, I saw: From a high place the Mother is coming down in us, wearing a rosy coloured sari and having a “Divine Love” flower in her hair. What does this signify?

It is a symbol of the descent of Divine Love.

5 June 1933

* I saw Mother’s form in a dream last night. Was it real or merely an imagination?

What do you mean by real? It was the form of Mother in a dream experience. Imagination applies only to the waking mind.

3 July 1933

* When I asked whether the form of the Mother in my dream was real or not, I meant: Was it the Mother herself or was it some false forces taking the form of the Mother?

If false forces take the form of the Mother, it will be with some bad object. If there is no attack or wrong suggestion, you need not suppose that it is false forces that have done it. Of course it is always possible that something in your own consciousness has constructed a dream about the Mother or put her figure there when she herself was not there. That happens when it is only a dream, a number of ideas and memories etc. of the mind put together and not an experience on another plane.

5 July 1933

* Today while meditating in the Pranam hall before the Mother deep concentration.” Why did I see her like that?

inner being — so it is quite natural that you should see like that.

5 July 1933

* About the dream of which I wrote yesterday, you have written, “It has a reality and a significance”, but you have not written the significance. Will it be wrong if I ask it? The dream in short was that I saw the Mother standing on a high place, as if on a terrace. At first I could not see her because it was dark, but afterwards she held up a torch directing its rays to her face so I could see her smiling. Then the focus of the light was thrown by her on my face and what happened afterwards I did not remember.

The significance is plain — it refers to the difficulty in seeing and then so that the light can fall on you — a symbol of self-knowledge. It is a sort of promise for the sadhana.

13 July 1933

* The day before yesterday, just before the Mother came down for her evening walk, I saw: The fire of aspiration is rising from my heart and its flame is slowly going upward as I constantly every day, is descending in the fire and filling my mind, vital and physical with peace and strength. In the second vision why did I see the Mother’s image exactly as we see her every day?

It indicates an aspiration and an action for realisation in the external nature and not only in the inner being. When it is an inner action or action of another plane one can see the Mother in any of her forms, but for realisation in the physical her appropriate form is that which she wears here.

15 July 1933

* Two days back I saw in a dream that I was lying in a bed in a room and the Mother entered with a big rosy coloured horse. Seeing the horse I told the Mother: “Mother, the horse is not mad; he will not bite you.” What is the meaning of this dream?

Rose is the colour of psychic love — the horse is dynamic power. So the rosy coloured horse means that the Mother was bringing with her the dynamic power of psychic love.

3 August 1933

* Today while meditating in the Pranam hall I saw: The sky is filled with blue light. From the sky a long path is coming down on earth. The path is beautifully paved. On this path Her whole body is white and full of golden light and this light is spreading out on all sides. When the Mother has come to the end of the path, her body will get mixed with the soil of the earth. Then I suddenly woke up from meditation. Was this a vision? What plane was it from?

Yes, it is a vision from the plane of mind (not ordinary, but higher mind). It indicates the descent of the Mother with her light of purity and Truth (white and golden) into Matter.

5 August 1933

* This afternoon in a dream I rose up very high and entered a beautiful temple shining with bright white light. In that temple I and others were there. Then at the temple gate I saw red pieces of paper; on each piece was written the name “Mira”. Then X called me and brought me down to Y’s room to learn a new song. After that, I again went up to the temple by a staircase, but it was a difficult climb. Inside the temple there was the full power of the divine consciousness. What is the meaning of my dream?

The temple is the Mother’s consciousness into which you enter by sadhana (as in your other experience described today you entered into the world of the Mother’s consciousness and saw things from there) and you come out of it when you turn to something outward but can ascend again at will once you have been there.

16 September 1933

* I have heard that the colour of Kali is black and she has four hands. But I saw her with only two hands and her colour was bright white. Why did I see her like this?

The black Kali form is a manifestation on the vital plane of What you saw was the Mother herself in her body of light with the Mahakali power in her, but not the actual form of Mahakali.

26 September 1933

* Last night I saw in a dream that Light from the Mother’s body was coming down into my body and transforming it.

Good — it is the opening of the physical consciousness to the Mother.

30 September 1933

* The bodies I wrote about this morning were like shadowy pictures, not distinct, and seemed to be like stones, not white in colour but black. Why was that?

It was probably the subconscient physical that you saw — that would explain the shadowy character; the stone indicates the material Nature.

30 September 1933

* In the afternoon I went to sleep remembering the Mother. After a while I saw that my subtle mind, vital and body had risen up high into a beautiful world, profound and peaceful. Then I saw many saints, sages and Gods tirelessly calling the Mother in their meditations. The joy of that world was truly deep. What a beautiful world! Then I saw the Mother slowly descend into their midst; she had ten arms and a bright white complexion. Suddenly I woke up. But lying quietly on the bed, I realised that my outer mind, life and body were moving inside the Mother’s circle. In this condition I looked at my body and saw that my gross body had a beautiful golden colour. All this time I kept calling the Mother quietly. Is all this true?

You seem to have ascended into a plane of the Higher Spiri-tualised Mind with a descent into it of Maheshwari bringing the power of the Divine Truth. The result in the physical consciousness was a perception of the One Consciousness and Life in all things and an illumination of the cells of the body with the golden light of the higher Truth.

October 1933

* While looking at the Mother when she came on the terrace, I suddenly saw in her lap a baby whom I took to be Jesus Christ as it resembled his figure. The vision lasted for about a minute and I saw it with open eyes.

It may be so — as Jesus was a child of the Divine Mother.

25 November 1933

* I saw the Mother in the colour of the flower we call “Detachment”. Does it have any meaning?

It must mean that that was the force which she was offering to you or else which you needed from her.

10 January 1934

* Could a vision of the Mother or seeing her in dream or in waking be called a realisation?

That would be an experience rather than a realisation. A real-isation would be of the Mother’s presence within, her force doing the work — or of the Peace or Silence everywhere, of universal Love, universal Beauty or Ananda etc. etc. Visions come under the head of experiences, unless they fix themselves and are accompanied by a realisation of which they are as it were the support — e.g. the vision of the Mother always in the heart or above the head etc.

12 March 1934

* Watching the Mother while she was meditating on the terrace, I saw a white light coming down from the sky and passing through the crown of her head. The light was not bright white, but a little blue, like the colour of the flower “Krishna’s Ananda”.

The lights represent forces — I suppose you saw some force of Ananda coming down.

2 April 1934

* Today while offering flowers to the Mother, I concentrated with my eyes shut. I saw the Mother’s bright white form amidst a beautiful dazzling light whose colour I cannot describe.

It was the psychic light, I suppose, and the Mother in it.

6 April 1934

* During my noon nap, I was in the Mother’s lap. She put her transforming palm on my head. With her thumb she was pressing the Brahmic centre at the top of my head and opening it; I felt that something was being received from there. Then suddenly there was a shift of the consciousness into some world other than the terrestrial. A supraphysical light was experienced in the cells of the body, which was already flooded with the light. The physical itself was taken up. Can this experience be explained?

There is nothing to explain. It was what you describe. At once the raising of the consciousness to a higher plane and the descent of that into the physical.

5 September 1934

* X told us today that on the Puja day the Mother was trying to bring down the personality of Durga.

There was no trying — it came down.

When I came for Pranam, the Mother’s grandeur and magnificent appearance made me feel that she was Durga herself. I don’t know whether such a feeling arose out of the association with the Puja on that day, or quite independently of it. But one cannot take such feelings seriously (perhaps you will rebuke me for saying that) . . .

All that is the silliness of the physical mind which thinks itself very clever in explaining away the inner feeling or perception.

because these feelings are so vague, abstract and momentary!

What else do you expect the first touches to be?

It is difficult to distinguish the borderline between imagination, intuition and feelings unless they are substantiated by something like a concrete vision. To give you one instance: I heard as if the Goddess Bhagawati were telling me, “I am coming” and many other things which I don’t remember now.

These things are at least a proof that the inner mind and vital are trying to open to supraphysical things. But if you belittle it at once the moment it starts how can it ever develop?

26 October 1934

* I had a dream in which the Mother seemed to be ill. Once when she smiled, I imagined that I saw all the worlds in her mouth, as Yashoda saw them in Krishna’s mouth. Immediately after this, I felt myself being lifted up above the world and looking at it as a witness. But the sense of the Mother being ill made me wonder if it was really her or someone else — some other influence.

I don’t think it was another influence. It reads like a very genuine experience.

19 June 1935

* The other day while I was having a nap in the afternoon, I had a vision of a very beautiful woman (pardon me, more than a woman) sitting under the sun. The rays of the sun were either surrounding her or were emanating from her body — I can’t precisely say which. The appearance and dress seemed to be European.

It is not a woman. A woman does not radiate and is not surrounded by rays either. Probably a Sun Goddess or a Shakti of the inner Light, one of the Mother’s Powers.

20 December 1935

* Just yesterday you wrote to me, “The next step is to be conscious in the samadhi” and today it actually took place. A great Holy Woman had come. Several of us went for her darshan. When my turn came, without looking at her face, I threw myself on her lap. She put her hands on my head, caressed me slowly, and gave me two spiritual powers. After a while, I raised my head and looked at the Holy Woman. Her face appeared like the Mother’s. Then I said, “May I ask you a question?” She did not seem to like this, but as she had not refused, I repeated the question. She said, “No, I don’t like questions.” Then we entered into a trance together. After a long time we both came back to consciousness.

This whole thing is beyond my understanding. Please tell me: (1) Who was the Holy Woman? (2) Why did she grant me the gift of higher powers? (3) A trance within a trance?

Obviously the Holy Woman was the Mother herself in a supra-physical form. It was natural that she should not like questions — the Mother does not like mental questions very much at any time and least of all when she is giving meditation as she was doing in this experience. It is rather funny to ask “why” (your eternal why) higher powers should be given. People do not question the gifts of the Shakti or demand reasons for her giving them, they are only too glad to get them. Trance within trance of course, since your sadhana was going on in the trance, according to the ways of trance. It is also in this way that it can go on in conscious sleep.

10 June 1936

* Some months ago in a vision, I offered the Mother three flow-ers of “Divine Love”. Has this any meaning for my sadhana?

It is not quite clear what this number 3 means in this connection. Possibly it is the aspiration for the Divine’s love in the three parts of the being.

12 July 1936

* The lotus you saw above the Mother’s head was the highest centre of the embodied consciousness (where it communicates with the higher Truth) fully open with the golden light of the divine Truth pouring upon it and filling it. It is that full opening which the Mother was bringing down and which has to happen eventually in the sadhak.

23 July 1936

* Once in a vision I saw the Mother in the physical dressed in a red sari. What does it mean?

Simply the presence of the Mother in the physical consciousness. Red is the colour of the physical.

September 1936

* I see a rough rock. Sunlight falls upon it and the rock changes: in the centre a hollow circle is made and rocks arrange themselves round the circle. In the centre of the circle appears a stone image of Shiva nearly two feet high. Afterwards, out of this image the Mother emerges. She is in meditation. The sunlight falls just behind the Mother’s body. What does it signify?

Rocks = the physical (most material) being. An opening in the material making room for the formation of the spiritual consciousness there. Stone image of Shiva = the realisation of the silent Self or Brahman there (peace, silence, wideness of the Infinite, purity of the witness Purusha). Out of this silence emerges the Divine Shakti concentrated for the transformation of the material. Sunlight = Light of Truth.

12 October 1936

* Whenever I have seen snakes in dream or anywhere else, I have had to go through many difficulties, so I have always believed that seeing snakes is not very auspicious. Is this true?

Serpents are energies — those of the vital are usually evil forces and it is these that are usually seen by people. But favourable or divine forces are also imaged in that form — e.g., the Kundalini Shakti is imaged in the form of a serpent. Serpents turning over or round the Mother’s head would rather recall the Shivamurti and would mean numberless energies all finally gathered up into one infinite energy of which they are the aspects.

28 October 1936

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