Chapter 8Scene 2

The road through the valley to Dongurh. Toraman, Canaca, Hooshka and Scythians. TORAMAN I know not what impelled these mountain-boars To worry Death with their blunt tusks. This insult I will revenge in kind at first, then take A bloody reckoning. CANACA Fegh! it was a trick even beyond my wits. To put a servant-girl on the throne of Cashmere! All Asia would have been one grin had the jest prospered. TORAMAN They take us for barbarians And thought such gross imposture good enough To puzzle Scythian brains. But I’ll so shame The witty clowns, they shall hang down their waggish heads While they are still allowed to live. You’ll wed A princess of the Rajpoots, Canaca? CANACA I would prefer a haunch of Rajpoot venison any day; they have fat juicy stags in their mountains. TORAMAN I give thee Edur’s daughter. While I ride With half my lances to our mountains, thou Shalt ruffle round as Scythian Toraman And wed the princess.

Act II, Scene 2 CANACA Shall I indeed? Do you take me for a lettuce that you would have me sliced for a Rajpoot salad? Oh, I’ld love to be a prince if only to comfort myself with one full meal in a lifetime; but an empty plebeian paunch is a more comfortable possession than a princely belly full of Rajpoot lances. TORAMAN Why should they at all Discover thee, dull fool? None know me here. The Rana and his men have not received me. No doubt the arrogant princeling scorned to eat As host and guest with me in Edur; even to dine With us is thought a soil! Therefore ’twas fixed In this rare plot that I should ride from Deesa On a fool’s errand. Well, it helps me now, Though I’ll avenge it fearfully. ’Tis feasible. None know us, you are richer-robed than I, And what’s uncouth in you, they will put down To Scythia’s utter barbarousness, whose princes Are boors and boors unhuman. Oh, ’twill work. CANACA Will it? Well, so long as I keep my belly unprodded, ’tis a jest after my own heart. TORAMAN And mine. These haughty Rajpoots think themselves The only purity on earth; their girls So excellent in Aryan chastity, That without Rajpoot birth an emperor’s wooing Is held for insult. This they hoped to avenge By foisting a baseborn light serving-wench On the prince of all the North. How will they stare, How gnash their teeth and go stark-mad with shame When they discover their sweet cherished lily, The pride of Rajasthan, they thought too noble

The Prince of Edur To lower herself to Cashmere’s lofty throne, Bedded with the court-jester of Cashmere, Soiled by the embraces of a low buffoon Who patters for a wage, her pride a jest, Her purity a puddle and herself The world’s sole laughing-stock. CANACA Hem! ’Twill be a jest for the centuries. TORAMAN About it, then. Feign to laugh off the insult put on you And urge your suit. Bound by their trick that failed, They must, though with great sullenness, consent; And that’s desirable: the shame will taste A thousand times more bitter afterwards. Have her by force, if they are obstinate; But have her. Soon, be sure, I will be back With an avenging host and ring in Edur With loud assaults till I have crucified King, queen and princess on her smoking ruins. Exit with a number of Scythians. CANACA Well then, I am Prince Toraman of Cashmere; remember that, villains. Or why not Prince Toraman-Canaca or Prince Canaca- Toraman? it is rounder and more satisfying to the mouth. Yet simple Prince Toraman has a chastity of its own and all the mag- nificence of Cashmere marches after it. Ho, slave! What sounds are those approaching my majesty? Send scouts and reconnoitre. Prince Toraman, the imperial son of Cashmere! It is a part I shall play with credit; Nature made me for it of sufficient proportions and gave me a paunch imperial.

Act II, Scene 2 HOOSHKA (approaching) Prince Canaca-Toraman or Prince Toraman-Canaca or very sim- ple Toraman, I hear tramp of men and the clang of armour. No doubt, the princess of Edur, thinking all safe by now, rides to Dongurh. Will you charge them and seize her? CANACA To cover, thou incompetent captain, to cover. Hast thou learned war and knowest not the uses of ambush? We will hide, slave. See thou pokest not out that overlong nose of thine! Find thyself a branch big enough to cover it. HOOSHKA Humph! What signal shall we expect from your Majesty for the charge? CANACA Prate not to me of signals! How lacking are thy dull soldier-wits in contrivance! If I jump down into the road and howl, you will all come jumping and howling after me; but if I run, you will catch hold of my tail and run too like the very devil. Nay, I have a rare notion of tactics. To cover, to cover! They conceal themselves. Enter the Rao of Ichalgurh, Ruttan and Rajpoots. ICHALGURH She has escaped me, or the Scythian has her. The last were my dishonour. RUTTAN We’ve held the road Since dawn. The Scythian had the serving-women. The princess has escaped. ICHALGURH I’m glad of it.

The Prince of Edur RUTTAN Will you pursue it farther? ICHALGURH Ambition only Engaged me once to woo her; now my honour Is deeply pledged. The spur of chivalry Suffers me not to yield a Rajpoot flower To Scythian handling; nor could I refuse A challenge to adventurous emprise So fairly given. About, to Dongurh! RUTTAN Brother, The place is strong, nor we equipped for sieges. ICHALGURH I’ll have her out even from that fortressed keeping And set her in my crest at Ichalgurh For gods to gaze at. Canaca leaps down into the road brandishing a sword, followed by Hooshka and his Scythians. CANACA Ho Amitabha! Buddha for Cashmere! ICHALGURH The Scythians on us! Swords! CANACA Put up your skewers! Quiver not, ye wretches; steady, steady your quaking kneecaps. Though I have cause for anger, yet am I merciful. Ye would have robbed me of some very pretty property, but ye are mountain-thieves by nature and nurture and know no better. Therefore peace. Sleep in thy scabbard, thou dreadful servant of the wrath of Toraman; await a fitter subject than these carcasses. Courage, Rajpoots, you shall not die.

Act II, Scene 2 ICHALGURH (smiling) Who is Your Mightiness? CANACA I am the very formidable and valiant hero and Scythian, Tora- man, prince of Cashmere. Nevertheless, tremble not. I am ter- rible to look at, but I have bowels; — ay, a whole paunchful of them. ICHALGURH You sought the Princess? What, she has slipped through your most valiant fingers? CANACA As if she had greased herself with butter. But I am going to Dongurh straight away to demand her and dinner. ICHALGURH Together then. We’re comrades in her loss; Why not allies to win her? CANACA Am I to be so easily bamboozled? wilt thou insult my cranium? Thou wouldst use my valiant and invincible sword to win her, thinking to steal her from me afterwards when I am not looking. ICHALGURH Who would dare Defraud the formidable Toraman, The valiant and heroic Scythian? CANACA Well! I am content; fall in behind me, mountaineers. ICHALGURH Ruttan, we’ll keep an eye upon this Scythian.

The Prince of Edur His show of braggart folly hides, I fear, A deal of knavishness. CANACA Trumpets! To Dongurh! March! Exeunt.